


The Capriciousness of Fate.

by Azrael_Doll



Category: Sagas of Sundry, Sagas of Sundry: Dread
Genre: Fix-It of Sorts, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Mental Health Issues, Mild Smut, Multi, Resurrection, Suicidal Thoughts, horror themes, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-02-10 09:09:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12908787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azrael_Doll/pseuds/Azrael_Doll
Summary: Kayden left the mountain angry. It was meant to be him. Fucking Tanner thinking he’d go down in a blaze of glory, he probably thought he was the only one noble enough to sacrifice themselves.





	1. I'm A Fucking Mess Sometimes.

**Author's Note:**

> A whole lot of swearing in this. 
> 
> Also trigger warnings for; drug withdrawal, highly depressed thoughts and destructive tendencies, but that's Kayden for you.

Kayden left the mountain angry. It was meant to be him. Fucking Tanner thinking he’d go down in a blaze of glory, he probably thought he was the only one noble enough to sacrifice themselves. The moment that happened to his… friend, Kayden’s purpose changed. He needed to protect the girls more than anything. He took his own selfish plans and desires and stuffed them away with the thoughts of the thing in his backpack and the voice in his head. Then Darby had had an insane idea of how to stop it all and save them, and they’d done it. They’d actually managed to fucking pull it off. They were safe. The land had been cleansed. Things should be better, right? Tanner was still dead.

_“Especially not you.”_

The journey back to ‘civilisation’ had been a chaotic mess of shattered emotions and beliefs. They’d stumbled into town and made up some story about going back out to confront what happened last year, only for Tanner to be separated in a cave in.  Search parties were sent out, but there was no sign of him or his body. A week passed. Apparently they’d found some pockets of natural gas, that had been exposed by the mine tunnels in the mountain. Which the town’s folk were attributing everything to. The five… four – no the five – of them knew what they experienced was real. God damn it! It wasn’t some fucking natural gas hallucination. But they’d seen what happened last time when they stuck to their guns. This time, they just left the sheep to their beliefs.

Everyone was affected by what happened, but Sat changed the most, Tanner’s last words having a profound effect on her. She’d tried to mend her relationship with her parents, not that it worked very well. They’d bought the stick the sheriff’s department was selling, and then checked her into rehab, ‘out of concern’. She seemed lighter when Kayden spoke to her on the first of their weekly allotted phone calls. Not good. But healing, which is more than he could say for himself.

Darby and Raina had gone back to university, citing PTSD for their actions last time. The media had a field day over the story, talk of the land being rezoned or some bullshit like that. Kayden was happy for them though. They were moving on, trying to put their lives back together, trying to figure out how they slotted together again.

Kayden was alone. His life had been a jagged mess of broken pieces before setting out on the first God forsaken camping trip. Trailer trash drug addict who had problems with authority, the story wrote itself. He knew from early on what his life would be, it’s why he pushed everyone’s fucking buttons. Here he was, alone, just like he expected. Living in a crappy apartment, and working a shitty retail job. 

His backpack from the trip left sitting in a corner of the dingy lounge. His stash was still where he’d left it when he got back. Kayden had screamed at it in impotent rage, staring at the mocking drugs, offering bliss and sweet sweet relief. He didn’t deserve that. He deserved to suffer for what happened. It was his fault after all. He should have stopped Tanner. He should have helped. He’d had the means to. Bile rising in his throat, he flushed it all. And lay on the double mattress on the creaky wooden floor, in the sham of a bedroom under a thin blanket.

Pain racked his system.

Tremors shook his body.

His veins were burning.

He needed relief.

He could go get some.

It would be so easy, just through on some pants and go downstairs, head out to the bar and any one of your dealers will be there, they’d help you out, you know they would.

NO! 

He deserved this.

His body aching he turned his head into his pillow and screamed.

Kayden’s mind was foggy about what had happened in the past week. He’d barely eaten. Barely slept. His throat burned. He stared at the ceiling, the thing in his backpack weighed on his mind; it worked his way into his thoughts as wily as the voice he’d heard at the mountains did. He wasn’t needed, but Tanner was. He’d realised long ago that he was broken. The whole fucking world was.

But this? This he was going to fix, even at the cost of himself, for purely selfish reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next couple chapters are written, and are being edited by me as I don't have a beta. I'm also trying to figure out if I should end it at chapter 5 or write more.


	2. Big Boys Don’t Cry, They Don’t Ask Why.

It was surprisingly easy for Kayden to make his way unnoticed all the way back to that same chain link fence that haunted his thoughts, the clipped away section was still there. His body tensed as he crawled through and stood on the other side, his hand shook slightly. Breathing deeply he started walking through the forest, he made his way to the cabin they'd first found the hole leading into the tunnels. The site had been cleared by the search party, none of their things there; having been brought back. The wooden timbers of the building had been shucked off to the side of the ruin, left in a haphazard pile, a busted weathered shell remained. He approached it slowly, like a person would a scared animal. It looked different in the daylight, it was lesser now. Fucking deserved it.

He turned his back on their once shelter and slowly retraced his steps on the many hour long journey back to the line of goat skulls and the partially collapsed tunnel. It was hitting dusk when he arrived and he gingerly sat down next to the centre skull, absently watching the crumbled entrance. It would take hours of work to clear the debris away, and he wanted it to be daylight out when he entered, if only for his own piece of mind. So he tried to rest, what little he could being back on the mountain. The memories swam around him and he fidgeted almost constantly. He knew the passage from the house would be easier, but you’d have to pay him a fucking fortune to go back via that way, besides, there was another cave in further in the tunnels.

Moving on autopilot he started clearing the smaller rocks first, casually tossing them to the side and then started to heave and shift the bigger rocks, there were a couple boulders he had to tip out of the way. It took hours to clear away even part of it, just enough for him to crawl through. But he wasn’t satisfied with that. It needed to be better. So he continued digging, dirt covering him, his hands and arms were aching and bleeding. It took backbreaking hours to clear away the entrance enough to easily get in and out, even then it wasn't that wide. It was getting close to dawn. Stumbling backwards Kayden collapsed on the ground next to the same goat skull and drank deeply from his canteen of water. Last chance to back away.

The tunnels were as dark, dusty and dirty as he remembered. He shuddered as he stepped further into the underground, the screaming echoes of his last memory of Tanner assaulting him. About twenty paces from the entrance he'd carved, Kayden could see dried blood mixing into the sand like floor of the passage and a couple bits and pieces of skeletons. But no Tanner, his body was gone; either it had gotten up and walked away or worse. Fucking hell. His jaw clenched, he walked further into the tunnels, following his memory and what little tracks there were. The light of one of the two flashlights he brought with him caused the shadows to almost dance around him. The straps of his backpack dug into his shoulders as he wandered through the tunnels, he left chalk lines and symbols on the walls at intersections.

Kayden lost track of how long he was down here and how many wrong turns and dead ends he took. Slowly he started to give up, maybe Tanner's body didn’t exist anymore; he could have been eaten, or any number of things could have happened. It was a long shot to go looking for it, or that cavern. What if it had been filled up, like the hole under the shack had been last time? The fucking traitorous thoughts taunted him and he considered turning around and heading back when a faint breeze had hit his face, the hairs on the back of his neck stood as he'd looked to the right and saw a number of tracks leading from a crack in the rock wall. He'd stumbled forward and pushed through into the large dual level cavern.

The sudden coldness was bracing compared to the cramped musty heat of the tunnels. His breath fogged in front of him and he shivered at the sensation of emptiness that enveloped the area. As he stepped further into the room, he froze place, staring down at the lower level of the chamber. The mass grave that had been there was gone. He slowly walked closer, his mouth dry and breathing harsh. As he descended down one of the curving side into the lower portion of the cavern, he could see the caved in rocks that still blocked the tunnel to the house.

And there, lying in the centre of the cavern was Tanners body. He was lying almost peacefully with his arms by his side and legs straight. Bow and arrow was nowhere to be found. He could have been sleeping if not for the stillness and the bite marks of missing flesh. He could feel the bile rise up in his throat, he caught it back but the acrid acidic taste permeated his mouth. Terrified he slowly moved over to the body. It definitely was Tanner, decked in his usual plaid shirt and glasses. As Kayden came closer he could see sitting on Tanner’s chest in an almost gross form of protection were the turtle figurines slipping from the draw skin pouch.

Kayden’s stuttered breathing hitched and goosebumps travelled down his body in terror and apprehension. His eyes darted around the dimly lit cavern, searching for a sign of anyone – anything – else. The shadows flickered from the flashlight, mocking him. He was here for a reason damnit, and fuck you shadows, he’d do this. He put the flashlight between his teeth and crouched down. Hesitantly he slowly reached out and moved the turtles into the pouch before tucking it into one of Tanners pockets. He breathed around the flashlight, pausing for a moment, the coppery scent of the mine filling his mouth, before he braced himself and moved his hands underneath the rigid body.

Kayden lifted the other boy is a mock bridal style carry; Tanner was surprisingly lighter than expected, but rigid, rigor mortis having set his body into place. Gritting his teeth against his flashlight Kayden moved his way up the gradual sloping cavern side to the top level. He awkwardly carried his friend through the entrance into the warmer tunnels. Breathing heavily through his nose and around the flashlight he followed his path in, finding the markings he left for himself. The shadows moving around him as he walked, their tendrils seemed to reach out to him, as if they wanted to grab him, and take him with them. Well fuck them.

Kayden pushed on, determined to do this. He had to. For the others. The walk back seemed to take much longer, even with the markings he’d left. At one point he could feel something watching him and his eyes roamed around before finding a small alcove. The flashlight dropped from his mouth and landed on Tanner stomach, still pointing forward. It’s light hitting the forms of two skeletons.

Inside the passage were two Indians standing facing him, their lifeless skulls staring at him. Kayden stopped moving, barely daring to breathe. They didn’t appear to be moving either, but they were watching him, as if almost waiting. He surreptitiously glanced around and behind him. There were more of them, they’d been following him. Kayden gulped down the dusty air and looked down. Tanner’s eyes were open. They hadn’t been before.

Kayden licked his lips, “You shouldn’t be here. We cleansed this land last time. I’m brining him the fuck home.” Kayden growled out, leaning into his anger to chase away the fear that must be floating around him in a miasma impossible to miss.

The skeletons didn’t respond. They didn’t even seem to move, but something was watching him through them. Hesitantly he took a step forward. Their skulls cocked to the side as if observing him, the creaking noise sent shivers down his spine, but they made no moves towards him. Biting the inside of his cheek, he took another step, then another. The skeletons parted around him with a hive mind like intelligence.

Kayden scoffed and continued walking, the light of the flashlight bouncing around more wildly from its place on Tanner’s stomach. Kayden resolutely refused to look down at his friend. His pace quicker than normal, as his honour guard of the dead followed him, their breathless shambling pace an eerie sound, as he made his way to the entrance he’d carved. Those in front stopped a good ten yards before the sunlight filtering in from the opening. He stopped, the rest of his mockery of an honour guard doing the same. Was this it then, they’d let him get this far and see freedom before fucking devouring him to. What a fucking idiot he was. Like playing chicken he moved forward. None of the other corpses moved.

Covered in sweat, Kayden could feel the beads of it running down his back and the sides of his head. He moved forward further, stepping into the dim light. He felt a shudder pass through him as something released from the body in his straining arms. Looking down he saw the dreadful intelligence that had inhabited his friend’s dead eyes was gone. Kayden's breath hitched, but he kept walking, maneuvering out of the cave and into the sunlight. He turned around after moving a couple paces away; the skeletons were staring after him, all of them having lined up as much as they could in the small tunnel.

“Fuck it.” Kayden hissed at the ground, before lifting his vision to the corpses, “I’m sorry for what happened to you.”

There were no expressions on their faces, but some of their heads tilted to the side with an audible crack. Kayden reflexively stepped back, memories competing with what he’s seeing in from of him. He backed away, vision locked on the cave entrance, still not trusting what had happened and wanting nothing more than to block the entrance again. He kept backing up slowly over the uneven ground, until he saw the line of goat skulls in the corner of his eye.

Only after he passed to the other side of the line did he brake his gaze from the tunnels to check his surroundings. The line of protection was still standing and holding vigil of the entrance to the tunnels, they seemed more intent than they had before and Kayden shivered at the thought. The full trees pressed against one another, their high hanging branches swaying slightly in the wind, which whistled through the air around him, the faint sounds of animals rustled about. It was getting close to midday. The dead had not followed him. At least, not yet.

He wanted nothing more than to just rest, but a sickly feeling in his stomach, made him push on. What would it matter if he ran himself ragged, he’d be gone soon anyways, and Tanner; the one who mattered, he would be back. Adjusting his hold, and shifting the body, he grabbed the flashlight with his hand and turned it off, no need for it now, and he’d rather have that and the spare, than run out. Before he placed the flashlight back onto his friend’s stomach, leaving his hands free, just in case.

Kayden then stepped into the treeline and continued on the route that would get him to the top of the mountain. His back already sore, and was starting to ache further; the muscles in his arms were long past that, the dull burning feeling of overexertion settling in. Sweat dripped from his brow, he blinked it away from his eye.

Maybe he should rest…

Fuck that! His face twisted into a smirk. He was not stopping. Kayden pushed on, using the pain to fuel himself, he deserved it after all. This was the price he paid. For hours he moved through the woods, until he finally passed the old broken cabin they’d first come to. Slowly his gait echoing the shambling pace of the corpses, he made his way towards the old campground and the trail they’d discover last time. It was difficult ascending up the overgrown animal’s track that they’d climbed last time. It would go up and down and curve off in nonsensical directions, a mess of a chaotic pattern. Parts were steep enough to almost count as a cliff-face, but thankfully had worn footholds in their rocky surface. Kayden lost count of the number of times he stumbled; nearly dropping the precious person he was carrying in his arms.

Battered, bruised, broken and bloody, Kayden staggered to the small outcropping on the top of the mountain. The medicine wheel was still there, empty and beckoning, thank the fucking gods. He gingerly made his way over and set his friends body down. A part of him refused to let go of Tanners body, afraid it might disappear or turn into a fucking dear or something as soon as he let go.

Sprawled on his knees the prone form of Tanner on the wheel in front of him, Kayden could see all of the forest before him and the towns lights a beacon in the distance. Holding his friend hand with one and reaching out with a shaking bloody hand, his vision blurring he drew the symbols in the sand. He breathed enjoying one last moment of peace. Still holding onto to Tanner with one hand, he carefully reached into his backpack and with a single tear leaking from a corner of his eye, his finger pressed a button.

Fire and light.


	3. It's Only Been A Moment, It's Only Been A Lifetime.

The light was brighter than anything he’d seen before. Kayden blinked, one arm up to protect his eyes, the other trying to tightly grasp at the now intangible form of Tanner, he turned his head away from the light.

_“I accept your offer…”_ The thought rang through his head, carrying the image of the skeletons in the cave turning to ash and dismantling, their remains drifting back to their former mass grave.

Kayden reared back from the vision, his senses on fire. Before he fell backwards, hitting the stone ground, he blinked his eyes, staring at the medicine wheel in front of him. He was still on the mountain top, did it not work? Something moved in his hand and his eyes shifting upwards to lock with Tanner’s.

“What did you do?” Tanner’s voice shaken and rough from disuse wove over the top of the mountain, as his gingerly friend sat up, “What happened?”

“Oh fuck. Why am I alive?” Kayden breathed, he turned to the sky and shouted, “You we’re supposed to take me instead, what did you do?!”

“Kayden!” Tanners voice, prissy but harsh cut through, oh how Kayden had missed that tone. “Tell me.”

“It’s been just over two weeks since we were last here.” Kayden breathed out, staring at Tanner, assessing him. Tanner looked well, a bit undernourished and he had dark circles under his eyes, but his friend looked surprisingly okay. The large pockets of flesh that had been ripped away were back, as if they’d never been taken in the first place. Kayden’s breath caught in his throat as his friend stared back at him.

That was when the waves of pain hit Kayden and he fell to the floor screaming. He could feel the ghostly light touch of Tanner’s hands on him, almost as if he was too scared to touch him. “Kayden, this is not funny, what on earth happened.” He implored.

Kayden couldn’t respond, his throat was closing up, pain seizing his body. So this was it huh, at least he got to see the man he loved one last time. His vision swam and blurred and seared. “Love.. you…” He whispered before he succumbed to the pain.

It was a thousand times worse than going through the week of withdrawal. Every nerve ending was on fire, and there was no release, he couldn’t even fool himself into thinking the drugs would help. It was the price he had to pay and Kayden, would gladly pay it and more. It was all he was worth after all.

He knew in his bones then, that an eternity of torment had passed in but a moment.

His eyes opened to a clear blue sky and Tanner’s crying face. Kayden must have moved or something as Tanner’s eyes refocused on him. “You’re awake! I didn’t know what to do, it was like a seizure, so I followed the first aid guidelines for that and then you just stopped, I thought you were dead.”

“I probably should be.” Kayden drawled, wincing and he moved to sit up as Tanner cautiously helped him before backing away slightly. Kayden sighed as he looked down at his arms, which were already burnt from the first time. They had new marks and scars across them, almost a pattern; he squinted, before realising they were like a red tattoo of flames made out of burns. He shivered and clenched his shaking hand in pain. The faintest touch of a hand landed on his shoulder. He looked up at Tanner, and a wave of suspicion hit him, after everything that had happened, and how Kayden wasn’t dead as he should be, “Are you really him?”

Tanner frowned, his brow furrowing the way it did when angry, or focused on something, or if Kayden had managed to get him riled up. Surprise clouded his eyes. “Of course I am.” He scoffed and then, seeming to get that Kayden needed more, he continued, “I remember the zombies and trying to save you all-.”  His voice broke off. “I remember dying. I remember what happened after.” He paused, his gaze far off. Tanner cleared his throat, voice raspy, “I remember accusing you of something you didn’t do. I remember the days we all spent together, I remember the year apart. I remember the first time we met when you rescued me from those jocks and I gave you an alibi so you didn’t get suspended. I remember the trips to the movies with everyone, the adventures Sat would drag us on.” A dry laugh left his lips, “I remember the times we all hung out at the caravan. It’s me Kayden. You saved me.”

Kayden blanched both relieved he hadn’t torn Tanner from somewhere good and ill at the thought that they could have left him there like that, “Saved you?”

Tanner shuddered, “I remember what the darkness did to those they consumed. I saw you and the other cleanse the land, barely managing to push away their power.”

“I didn’t expect to survive this.” Kayden muttered, a little voice in the back of his mind whispered that that was exactly why he did. He glanced back up at Tanner, “We told everyone that we came up here to face what happened last time but you got separated in a cave in. It seemed like the easiest fucking way to explain all this shit without being locked up. Said that we were pretty sure you were dead but never actually saw it. Guess we were all thinking of trying to get you back some way.” Kayden chuckled to himself, “Bunch of fucking idiots.”

“No, you’re not.” Tanner coughed, “I mean, you got me back right?”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right about that.” Kayden looked around at the slowly darkening sky. “What do you say about getting the fuck off of this mountain?”

“Fucking yes.” Tanner responded with a grin, they both clung to each other as they stood on shaky legs and carefully made their way down the mountain and towards ‘civilization’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've got got a number of chapters written to a first draft, I doubt many people will read this, but I can't seem to stop writing this. Hope you enjoy.


	4. How Did Your Debts Get Paid?

They were found by the Sheriff on their way into town, so much for sneaking back to Kayden's apartment. He'd rushed them to the hospital and a whirlwind of questions and tests had followed. Kayden's head was leaning against the cool wall of the hospital, the uncomfortable plastic chair under him somehow providing welcome relief. Tanner was in the room opposite, apparently he was severely malnourished and the hospital wanted to keep him for observation. Kayden's knee was bouncing absentmindedly, adrenaline and anxiety coursing through him. Footsteps rushed down the hall and his head snapped to the sound, Tanner's parents were making their way towards him. Oh fuck. 

"You!" Tanner's mother pushed forward, "What happened? What did you do?!"

Kayden just stared back at the incensed woman, trying to think what he could say. _'Sorry your son had been partially eaten and turned into a walking corpse. Feeling guilty and missing him, I went and blew myself up to get him back.'_ He snorted to himself at the thought and felt the stinging bite of a slap to his face. Yeah, Kayden supposed snorting at a distraught woman will do that to you.

"What did you do to him? Did you trap him somewhere so you could play hero?"

"He saved me." Tanner's quiet voice cut through her anger and Kayden visibly saw her deflate as she collapsed into her husbands waiting arms, her hands raised to cover her mouth. Tanner was stood in the doorway, the unflattering hospital gown hung loosely around him as his gaze was fixed on his parents.

"You're alive..." His mother whispered in a reverent voice as she made her way over to her son and wrapped him in her arms. 

His father joined them, his arms still on his wife's shoulders, he gruffly asked, "Son, what happened?"

Tanner's parents backs were to him, so Kayden gingerly got to his feet, his muscles were cramped and sore. Tanner nodded at him and Kayden started walking away as his friend answered. He could hear Tanners voice drifting down the hall behind him. "There was a storm, we took shelter in the mountain, but one of the tunnels collapsed, I ended up trapped with no way out. If not for a small stream and the food I had on me, I would have starved. Kayden found me. He saved me." His parents response was cut off by the double doors swinging shut.

Kayden kept walking, he needed to find a phone. He passed through the many double doors of the hospital and down the twisting brightly lit corridors. He worked his way back to the public phones in the reception area, ambling over to the row of them, set in a small alcove off to the side of the main waiting area. He stared at the white box embedded in the wall, surrounded by the dark wood of the privacy alcove. His bandaged arms and hands shook as he slowly reached out and took the phone off the hook. His other hand moving up to dial one of the numbers he had memorized. 

Ring.

Ring..

Ring...

Ring....

"Hello?" Raina's slightly breathless voice came across the line. Kayden's voice stuck his throat. "Hello, is anyone there?" A pause, "Look if this is a crank call or something, we're not interested." 

"It's me Raina." Kayden forced his mouth to make the words.

"Kayden? Are you alri-." She cut off, probably thinking the same thing, of course he wasn't alright, none of them were, instead she asked, "What's happened?"

"I, uh. I did something." Kayden rubbed his forehead with a bandaged hand, "Is Darby there too?"

"Yeah she's here." There was a slight rustling and a clacking noise as the two of them must have moved to share the receiver, his other friends voice came over the line.

"Hey Kayden, Raina said somethings happened?" Confusion was evident in Darby's tone.

Kayden stared unblinkingly at the phone, the number keys on the box barely registering, his head a mess of thoughts and emotions. "I brought him back."

Kayden could hear Raina gasp, before Darby spoke up, her voice slightly clipped, but full of emotion, "His body?"

"In a way, yeah you could say that." Kayden chuckled soullessly, "I brought him back Darby and -." His voice cut off mid-sentence, he couldn't do it. He couldn't tell them, that it had gone wrong, clearing his throat he continued, "He's alive. He's alive."

"What! How?"

"Kayden what did you do?"

"If you're making a joke out of this, that is one sick thing to do."

Their voices blurred, talking over each other. "I'll tell you the details if you can come down this weekend, we should be out of hospital then. I just wanted to let you know before the news blasted it everywhere."

"We can't this weekend." Darby's voice sounded annoyed over the fact, "It'll be a couple weeks, but then we can be down for a week or so, and Sat might be out of rehab then too."

"Come down whenever." Kayden reassured her, wincing at the mention of Sat.

"Hospital?" Raina's tentative voice carried gently over the connection.

"Yeah, Tanner's rather malnourished." The unspoken, being dead for two weeks will do that to you hung between all of them.

"He's really alive then?" Darby asked, her voice hopeful.

"Yeah," Kayden responded, letting the relief bleed into the sound, "I just have to figure out how to tell Sat..."

"Fuck..." Darby commiserated.

"She's still in rehab, she won't believe it." Raina whispered.

"I know, but I have to tell her somehow."

"We'd call her after, but she only gets a phone call a week, that's not from her parents."

"I know guys, I know." Kayden's head hit the top of the box with a dull clunk. "I'll see you guys soon and," He paused before adding, "Darby, can you bring some of your research?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course I will Kayden." 

"Bye Kayden, say hi to Tanner for us." Raina's wavering voice requested.

"Will do." Kayden whispered before hanging the phone up. He blinked his eyes, trying to push back the tears threatening to spill over. A flare of pain went through his hand as he absently grabbed the wooden side of the privacy box in a white knuckled grip. His other hand raised to his mouth in a fist as he tried to choke back his sobs. Breathing heavily he leaned into the box, before numbly turning around and sliding down the wall. He drew his knees up to his chest and rested his head on them, his hands and arms coming up over his head, not caring about his now haphazard mohawk, as if to shelter him from the world. And slowly, he gave into the grief and relief that consumed him.

"Kayden?" A soft voice whispered.

Messily wiping his eyes he looked up to see Tanner staring down at him, he was wearing clean clothes, Kayden dully noted as the other boy carefully moved to sit next to him. The warmth of his body a reassuring presence at his side. His arm gently brushed Kayden's, his head turned and watching him. Kayden smiled weakly, it probably came out like more of a grimace.

"I called Raina and Darby, they're coming back as soon as they can, they want to find out what happened." The watery words shuddered out of him, "They say hi."

Tanner grinned in response, before clearing his throat, "What about Sat?"

Kayden sighed and closed his eyes, he knew this would happen, he'd never stood a chance. He leaned his head back and grasped his own hands, his arms resting on his raised knees and stared at the ceiling. Keenly aware of Tanner's gaze on his face. "Sat tried to fix things with her parents, they bought the line about natural gas and then put her in rehab."

"Oh," Tanner responded, his voice soft, there was silence for a moment, "My parents told me about the natural gas thing and the search parties..." He trailed off and Kayden glanced down to see him, absently tracing the mostly healed cut of the '1' he'd carved into his own arm.

"Was gonna call her, probably a good thing you're here. I'm not sure she'd believe me otherwise." Kayden chuckled darkly, his gaze now fixed on the linoleum floor.

"We'll do so together then." Kayden felt the weight of Tanner's head press into his shoulder, "Whenever you're ready." 

Kayden wasn't sure how long they sat like that, each in their own heads, but with the comfort of physical connection bolstering them. He caught a number of looks that were directed their way and eventually he slowly moved to stand up. Holding his hands out he helped to pull Tanner to his feet, the other mans hand resting on his arm to steady himself. The feeling of Tanner's touch made Kayden breath in sharply, he couldn't help it. Resolutely he turned his gaze to the phone, acting as if it was the pain from the burn. Tanner pulled his hand away and whispered sorry. Kayden missed the pressure of his touch the moment it was gone.

Clearing his throat, "Let fucking get this over with." He reached out and picked up the phone for the second time and dialed the rehabs number.

Ring.

Ring..

Ri-

"Sunny Day's Rehab Centre, how may I help you?"

"Yeah, Hi. This is Kayden calling for Satine. Can you put me through?"

"One moment please." Music coming over the line, before Kayden could respond, his foot started tapping impatiently, he shifted slightly, he could feel Tanner's gaze fixed on him.

"I'll just put you through, but you'll only have the usual allotted time." Followed by the changing of tones, before a familiar voice picked up.

"Kayden." Sat exclaimed with forced cheer, "What's up?"

"Sat," Kayden breathed, "I have something to tell you, but uh, first are you alone right now?"

"Erm, as I can be. I'm sitting in the phone-box, the receptionist can see me." A rustling sound came through the phone and Kayden could practically see her waving at the other person.

"Sat, I did something."

"Are you okay?" Her voice sharp with concern.

Kayden let out a strangled sound, "Not really." He paused, "There's no fucking easy way to put this."

"Come on Kayden, you can tell me anything." Her voice broke slightly, "Did they find Tanner's body?" 

"Sorta." He breathed, "I brought him back Sat. He's alive." Kayden waited for a response but heard only silence, "Sat? Are you still there?"

After a couple moments a quiet, "I'm here," followed by a louder, "This better not be a fucking joke Kayden, I can't deal with that."

"It's not Sat." Kayden pleaded.

"I don't believe you." She whispered, the heart wrenching grief breaking her voice. Kayden couldn't respond to that, he blindly shoved the phone to Tanner, before backing up against the other wall. 

He watched, his breaths harsh, as Tanner raised the receiver, "Hey Sat, it's me." 


	5. I Killed All The Hope That I Had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild smut towards the end, skip to the next chapter if that's not your jam. Also the first time I've written or posted any, I might end up changing it later...

It wasn't until a week later when Kayden was walking back from work, heading to his apartment in the converted factory, when he saw someone sitting on the steps outside. He paused where he stood on the pavement opposite, it was Tanner, he hadn't spotted him yet. Kayden took a step back to the side of the building he'd just walked passed and observed his friend for a moment. He couldn't make out that many details, but Tanner was dressed as he normally would, plaid and glasses. His camera hung around his neck, he seemed to be fiddling with the settings. Kayden's heart started beating faster; he shook his head, thinking that he's a fucking fool for hoping. Sighing he took his keys out of one of his many pockets and started spinning and catching them in his hand as he crossed the empty road. Tanner noticed him as he did and stood up, brushing the dirt from his trousers.

"What are you doing here?" Kayden grunted, moving to unlock his front door. 

"I wanted to see you. I only just got out of hospital the other day."

Kayden frowned slightly, he and Tanner had never really hung out together alone before everything happened. "Suit yourself." Kayden said and opened the door, he could hear Tanner behind him as he made his way up the rickety stairs to his home. 

"My parents were keen to keep me close after what happened, I don't think I've ever been to church so much in my life." Tanner said, nervously trying to make small talk.

"Sounds fucking fun." Kayden's non-committal response filled the air between him.

"Oh, it absolutely was." Tanner responded sarcastically.

Kayden sighed and opened the door to his apartment, it was relatively clean, no dirty dishes, but clothes were strewn around chaotically. He took off his jacket and dropped in on one of the few dining chairs he owned. It was a bit stuffy after being shut all day and he wandered over to one of the tall windows and reached up to crook the top part open slightly. He heard Tanner shut the door behind him and seemed to be shuffling awkwardly in the entryway. Rolling his eyes Kayden turned around, he guessed they were doing this now then. "Soooo, any particular reason you're here, or are you just gonna keep acting like a cowardly lion."

"I'm not a coward." Tanner hissed, his eyes flashing in anger, he took off his own jack and placed it carefully on top of Kayden's.

Kayden scoffed, "You don't have to tell me that."

Tanner shifted, breaking his gaze and ran his hand through his hair. "It's just a lot to take in alright, admitting everything that happened was real, dying for you guys, and then having the guy you thought was the cause of it all sacrificed himself to get you back." He huffed a breath, "I don't fucking know how to deal with it."

Kayden blinked, not used to Tanner swearing, "You're already dealing with it better than I am." And he moved over to the slightly saggy couch and dropped into it. "We were never close. I'm not fucking expecting anything Tanner."

Tanner's face flickered through emotions, but try as he might, Kayden wasn't sure what they were as the other man walked over to him. "Why did you do it Kayden, the others I could understand but..." He slumped down onto the other side of the couch.

Kayden stared at the bare wooden floor. "You deserved to live."

"Cut the bullshit Kayden." Tanner said leaning forward. 

Kayden picked at a loose thread on the couch arm. "Because you deserved to live and I didn't." He laughed dryly, "I'm a fucking asshole, I have nothing going for me and I'm not needed. You though? Sat, Raina, Darby, your parents and countless other need you. You fucking matter." Kayden growled out and moved to stand up and pace, when Tanner's hand grabbed his wrist. 

Kayden flinched at the contact, before looking down at Tanner. "You matter too Kayden, just as much as anyone else." 

Kayden laughed and pulled away, "Sure." He walked back over to the window and looked out to sparse overgrown empty lot next door.

"What did you mean when you said you loved me?" The question came out in a whisper, it would be so easy to ignore it. Kayden closed his eyes and lent his head against the window, the slight breeze from the open top part fluttering past his head. He could feel the blood rushing in his ears.

Clearing his throat, he stared out the window, "What I fucking said," He breathed, thinking of how Tanner loved Sat, "Just like how I feel about the others."

"Oh." The response was soft, but close. Kayden could feel the other man now standing behind him. Kayden needed air.

"If that's fucking everything then?" He turned and started to move away when Tanner blocked him. 

Closer up, Kayden could see the dark circles under Tanner's gorgeous eyes. His breath hitched and Kayden went to push past, when Tanner held his hand out. His brow furrowed slightly under his glasses, "You don't think I can tell when your lying, I know your damn games Kayden."

Kayden laughed, "Yeah, me and my fucking games, always the problem, always provoking you." He moved closer, "Always getting a rise out of you, breaking your perfect temper. Making you want to act out. That's not my fault, or would you prefer it if I hit myself again for you?"

"Damn it Kayden, do you really think none of us know that you're just too fucking scared to show us that you care." He tilted his head slightly as he shifted closer and Kayden realised that his camera had been left back by the couch. "Newsflash, we know."

"And?" Kayden scoffed, a twinge of anxiety mixed with arousal running through him, he was too close to Tanner, but fuck it if he was backing down first.

Tanner shoved forward and Kayden stumbled back into the window as Tanner kissed him, one of his hands resting on his waist, the other holding onto Kayden's neck, his thumb caressing his jaw. Instinctively Kayden opened his mouth and kissed back, his tongue pushing into Tanner's mouth demanding more and teasing with the other man's. He pushed forward, grabbing Tanner's ass and biting his bottom lip. Tanner groaned into him, the kiss was harsher than Kayden had expected, but obviously one of Tanner's first kisses. 

They broke apart breathing heavily, their arms still wrapped around one another. Tanner's eyes were dilated, his hair slightly askew and his mouth partially open. Kayden loved the sight, groaning he broke the embrace. "Why did you do that?" He whispered facing away from Tanner. "You love Sat." Unable to hide the pain in his voice.

"That doesn't mean I can't love you too."

Kayden shook his head, "If this is some kinda twisted way of repaying me, I don't want it."

"It isn't Kayden." Tanner's voice trembling, Kayden turned slowly to face the other man, "I want you. I have for a while." He blushed and looked to the side. "I love Sat, I do, but I don't know if she loves me. I don't even know if we love each other the same way. I'm so confused." His eyes shifted to meet Kayden's, "It's meant to be her, but I never could stop thinking of you." 

Kayden's eyes widened, his hands shaking at his side, "Oh yeah, and how exactly was the preacher's boy thinking of me." He smirked.

Tanner's eyes sparkled with a challenge, "On his knees in front of me."

Grinning wildly Kayden moved forward until he was chest to chest with the taller man. Kayden kissed him, moving them back towards the window, pushing Tanner's back into it. He grinded against the other man, unbuttoning Tanner's shirt and kissing his bare skin and the thin silver scars of bite marks that were still there, as he made his way to kneel in font of him. Kayden, pulled his own top off over his head and threw it aside, before deftly undoing Tanner's belt and zip, he pushed Tanner's trousers down breathed on his cock through the cloth of Tanner boxers. He looked up and smirked, "Do I have your permission?"

Tanner's cock twitched at the sensations of air against him and he hissed out, "Yes." His eyes hooded.

Kayden moved forward and licked Tanner's length through his boxers teasingly, before pulling them down. Kayden started by kissing and nibbling at the sensitive skin around Tanner's cock. Kayden chuckled at the sounds Tanner made before taking him in his mouth. One of Tanner's hands grabbed his mohawk, the other uselessly pressed against the window behind him. Kayden enjoyed giving head, he was good at it, and Tanner obviously had little experience, he came in no time, not even able to warn him. But Kayden didn't care, drinking him down greedily. 

He stood up, his own cock straining against his trousers and pressed the rough fabric against Tanner, letting him feel him against him, the bare skin of his chest hot against Tanner's, "Now what else did you imagine?" He whispered into Tanner's neck as he kissed, bit and sucked the sensitive spot under the ear.

"Jesus Kayden."

"Sure, I'm your savior." Kayden chucked, "Now tell me what you want?" He licked Tanners throat. 

"I want to ride you." Tanner gasped out between breaths, "I want you underneath me."

Kayden smirked and moved back, pulling off his boots and trousers, letting Tanner do the same. Before leading Tanner into the bedroom. 


	6. Collect Your Scars And Wear Them Well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gonna lie, this chapter and the next one were hard to write (you'll find a similar warning on that one), particularly being queer myself. People show era accurate opinions on homosexuality and being considered different. There are NO explicitly derogatively words, mostly 'cause I just couldn't bring myself to write them. It's mainly towards the end of this chapter and is backed by a character's religious beliefs.

Kayden woke up lazily and stretched out, his still slightly sensitive hands meeting only his worn cotton of his bedsheets. He blinked, looking around groggily and sat up. Tanner wasn't in the room. He slumped back down into his pillow, figuring Tanner had gone to the bathroom or some shit and reached for a cigarette, flicking his lighter and taking a long drag. He played with the cap of the zippo for a little while, smoking the cigarette down to the filter, before putting it out in the ashtray on the floor by his bed. 

Groaning he got up off the mattress on the floor and walked out of the bedroom to the open plan living area. Tanner wasn't there. He blearily rubbed his eyes and checked the bathroom, it was empty. Kayden felt a slightly sick feeling pool in his stomach as he turned back to the lounge, Tanner's things were gone. He had left at some point while Kayden was sleeping. Fucking hell. Kayden sat down on the wooden floor by the bathroom heavily, his muscles like jelly. After all why would Tanner have fucking stayed, of course he snuck out. All Kayden was good for was a fuck and leave after all. What's to say he did really want it? Kayden slammed his hand into the door frame, cutting the side open, he hissed him pain and clenched it into a fist. He ran his other hand through his limp hair, flattening it against his head. He'd messed up royally this time. Shivering he got up and crossed over to the open window, it was dark out, no one to see but the emptiness of shadows, he reached up and closed the window before giving up and heading back to bed. It was too early for this shit.

It was another week before he saw Tanner again, more than the occasional passing sighting, he was heading to the store to pick up food after work, when he heard familiar laughter. Kayden looked over to see Tanner with his parents as they loaded up the car. Kayden turned his head away and moved to quickly go into the store. 

"Kayden!" A female voice called out, grimacing he turned around to face Tanner's mother, she was smiling at him, which was creepy. He could see Tanner and his father in the distance watching the two of them. Kayden couldn't tell what the expression on Tanner's face meant, but he was frowning.

"What Mrs. Sills?" He asked, his tongue pushing into the cheek she had slapped the last time he'd seen her.

"I wanted to apologise for what I did last time." She smiled congenially, "Whilst it was understandable and I was distraught, it does not excuse what I did. So, Kayden, I am very sorry for what I said and for hitting you."

Kayden shrugged, "It's fine, it happens."

The edges of Mrs. Sills' eyes, the same colour as her sons, crinkled slightly as she looked him up and down, "We're having a pot roast tonight, there will be lots of leftovers," A pause, then, "Would you please join us?"

Kayden paused, his gaze assessing, before he shrugged, "I've got some shopping I need to do." He jerked his thumb over to the store.

"Of course, if you do decide to join, come over at 7 o'clock." She smiled and her hand raised almost as if to pat him on the arm, before thinking the better of it and joining the rest of her family.

Kayden's faze locked with Tanner's and he could feel the bile rising in his throat. Oh, where was Sat when you needed her. He turned abruptly and walked into the store, picking up the things he needed. But his thoughts were elsewhere during the shopping trip, and the long walk home carrying his bags. He put the food away absently. What the fuck was he meant to do?

He looked over at the clock on the wall, it had been there since before he moved in, it was nearly half 6. He groaned to himself and tapped his forehead with the back of his hand. If he was going, he had to leave sooner than later to walk there in time. Part of him smirked at the thought of messing with Tanner's head. There's no way he'd expect him to come. Kayden frowned, but he found himself putting on something with less holes in it and spiking up his mohawk further. 

The walk was refreshing, the night air cool on his skin. The shadows curled around him as he crossed under the dotted street lights and made his way over to the other side of town. He came to a stop at the end of Tanner's road, was he really fucking doing this? Chewing the side of his thumb he glanced around, it was quiet, apart from the glowing lights from the houses of happy fucking families. He could leave now and no one would ever know he'd even come this far. It's what he'd have done before, hell, he wouldn't have even walked here in the fucking first place. 

His feet slowly moved forward, pulling him almost absently as he made his way to the quaint two story house that the Sill's lived in. Jesus fuck, he was doing this then. He raised his injured hand and looking at the doorbell, he knocked. There was a beat of silence afterwards which grew until Kayden started moving back down the porch, this was a bad idea. He saw the light spilling out onto porch steps from the house behind him, Kayden turned to see Tanner standing in the doorway, paler than usual. "I didn't think you'd actually come."

Kayden shrugged, "Surprise." He drawled unemphatically. 

Tanner stepped out onto the porch, pulling the door mostly closed behind him, "I know we haven't seen each other since..." He paused, clearing his throat.

"Since you left that -."

"Kayden!" Tanner hissed, "Please don't mention it." His eyes beseeching and voice quiet. Kayden exhaled and nodded once, sharply. He could be the secret, it's nothing he hadn't done before, but usually he didn't sit down with the guys fucking family for dinner after it. Tanner's mouth quirked in a half-smile of relief before he walked back into the house, holding the door open for Kayden to join him. Kayden haltingly moved into the entryway, the warm house and delicious smells of food cooking greeted him as Tanner closed the door behind him. "You can hang your coat there." Tanner said gesturing to the hooks set into the wall of the entryway, before walking further into the house.

Kayden shrugged out of his jacket and hung it up, taking a moment to breathe, he followed his friend through into the rest of the house. He'd been there before of course, usually with Sat and the others, but it had been years. Not much had changed though, a couple different pictures on the walls, some furniture had been rearranged. He glanced around the sitting room, Tanner's dad was sitting in his armchair reading a book, Kayden could hear the sounds of Tanner's mom and sister chatting in the kitchen, which he watched as Tanner disappeared in there. Kayden shifted, still standing in the entryway, completely unsure as to what he should do. Maybe he should just turn around and leave. 

"So, Kayden. It's been a while." Pastor Sills commented, placing a bookmark in his book and resting it on his lap, he looked up at Kayden.

"Uh, yeah, it has." Kayden said, moving further into the room.

"Haven't seen you at church lately."

"Sorry to say it's not really my thing," Kayden shrugged, "Damnation and all that." He inwardly winced at the acrid response, he'd never really gotten on well with Tanner's dad, but then, neither did Tanner.

"You could always repent."

"Of course Mr. Sills." Kayden shoved his hands into his pockets, hiding the clenching of his fists.

"Be that as it may, thank you for bringing out son home to us."

Kayden shrugged in response, "That's not really something you need to thank me for."

Tanner's father quirked an eyebrow and opened his mouth to respond, when Mrs. Tanner's voice called out that dinner was ready if they wanted to come through. Tanner's father closed his mouth and grunted slightly, before putting his book aside, getting up and leading the way through into the dining room. Kayden breathed a quiet sigh of relief before he followed after him.

The table was full of pot roast and sumptuous side dishes, Kayden's mouth watered, he was a decent cook, but he was limited by money for ingredients. He was lost in the bustle as he sat down in the free chair next to Tanner, as they all settled and Pastor Sills said grace, Kayden rolled his eyes above their lowered heads, but didn't reach out to start eating. He could get through this, it was nothing compared to the other shit that had happened in his life.

A couple minutes passed as they all filled their plates and spoke in general small talk around him, until Tanner's father, sitting at the head of the table opposite his wife asked, "So, what is it you do for a living Kayden?"

Kayden swallowed the potatoes he'd been eating, "I work in a video game store."

"That sounds fulfilling." Tanner's father responded absently, "We'd thought you all had gone you separate ways, after the graduation." His tone somehow still conveying his surprise at Kayden being there.

Kayden shifted slightly in his seat, "What can I say, we're all friends."

"How's the food, did you want more orange juice?" Tanner's mom broke in, trying to diffuse the situation how she could.

Kayden's gaze didn't break from holding the pastor's, "It's fantastic Mrs. Sills. I'd love to get the recipe off of you, it's been a while since I cooked a roast."

"You cook then?" Tanner's younger sister asked, almost excitedly, her father turned to look at her assessingly.

"Not as well as I'd like to, but someone had to growing up." Kayden shrugged and nodded to her.

"He's a pretty good cook." Tanner interjected, "You remember the pies from the newspaper bake sale?" 

"Oh the cherry and the blueberry ones?" Mrs. Sills recalled. "They were delicious."

"Yeah, Sat got Kayden to make them for it." Tanner turned to him, "She never did say how she got you do to that."

Kayden chuckled, "More fun to not say." Tanner rolled his eyes, but returned the grin.

They continued eating and talking about a couple different recipes and types of dishes they enjoyed or wanted to try making. Until nearing the end of the meal, Pastor Sills spoke up again, "So are you planning on being a cook then?"

"I don't really know, I did go to the community college for a bit, but it wasn't for me."

Tanner's father frowned at that, "Got kicked out, did you?"

"No, I was suspended." Kayden said grinning back at the other man, "I could go back, but then everything with the mountain happened."

Tanner frowned, "You went to college?"

Kayden looked at Tanner sharply, "Art school." He turned away from his friend back to Tanner's mom, "That was great, but I should leave."

"Oh, but we've yet to have desert." Kayden smiled as Tanner's sister protested.

"It's fine really." Kayden moved to get up. 

"Sit back down boy. It's rude to leave before we've finished the meal." Kayden paused and looked back over at his friends father, before slowly sitting back down and leaning back in his chair, absently picking at his coloured fingernails, watching as the flash of anger passed over the religious man's face. "Why don't you two go clear up and get the desert?" He quasi ordered his family. 

Tanner's sister looked around nervously for a moment, before getting up and starting to clear the table, looking like she couldn't wait to get out of there fast enough, her mom joining her. Tanner's brown was furrowed, but Kayden nudged him with his foot and the brown haired man breathed out and joined his family in clearing away.

Pastor Sills watched until they moved into the kitchen and then waited for a moment as if gathering his thoughts, "Now, as much as we are grateful for you saving our son. I don't like you."

Kayden scoffed, "The feeling's mutual." 

"Then leave and don't bother us again."

Kayden smirked, "I'm afraid that ain't happening."

The pastor leaned forward, "Look here, I don't want your type hanging around my children."

Kayden felt the anger rise up inside him, "My type?" He hissed, "I'm not a fucking teen anymore, you can't just expect me to run away after a talking to."

"I did what I thought was right."

"What you thought was right," Kayden sneered, "Fat lot of good it did going to you for help, what a great God damn man of religion you are."

"Do not take his name in vain." Tanner's father growled.

"Sorry, I lost faith a long fucking time ago."

"You are obviously past redemption and I want you gone from my son's life."

Kayden chucked, "Afraid that's not your choice to make." He stood and started walking, "But I'd rather be fucking rude and leave during a meal, than be lectured by a bible thumping sycophant!"

Kayden pushed through the doors into the entryway and grabbed his coat, he could hear Tanner's father coming behind him, and fucking hell he'd done it now. He opened the door and was leaving when the pastor grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back and hissed, "You are to stay away from my family." Before he was being shoved out of the house, the door slamming in his face.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" He yelled impotently as he stalked away from the Sills' house. Ignoring the peaking glances from the neighboring houses and their occupants looked through their perfect lace curtains. Kayden stalked off into the night, not paying any attention to where his feet were taking him. He'd fucked up again.


	7. And If You're Still Breathing, You're The Lucky Ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said last chapter this chapter one was hard to write. People show era accurate opinions on homosexuality and being considered different. There are NO explicitly LGBQTA slurs, but there is strong language, just like the rest of the story. The scene is at the start of the chapter this time and involves a physical fight.
> 
> There is also a scene of someone tending to their own injuries.

He stalked his way back his home, the anger roiling in his guts and eating at his insides. The need to break something, someone, was almost all consuming. Shivering he stuffed his hands in his trench coat and tried to walk of the steaming anger. He barely registered the different streets he passed by, the world around him slowly getting darker, not pay much heed what he was doing, he needed to get back before he broke something. His shoulder bashed into something, the force of it turning him around. Oh fuck. He didn’t need to deal with his former schoolmates obviously on a night out.

“Look what we have here, the local hero!” Mike crowed.

“Saved his poncey boyfriend, you must be so proud of yourself.” The taller one, Jeff hissed, pushing him.

Kayden hands clenched into a fist within his pockets, he could feel the cool metal of his knuckles in one hand. He just wanted to get away, but if he ran they’d just chase him and he wasn’t gonna give them the fucking satisfaction. He stayed silent, eyeing the three of them.

“The lesbians are elsewhere and the bitch is in rehab now, no one to help you anymore.” Sammy spat crowding into Kayden’s space and patting his face derogatively, Kayden could smell the alcohol on his breath. Kayden’s anger snapped, and he head-butted the man in front of him, Sammy stumbled back, nearly falling on his ass, he looked up blood running down into his mouth from his nose, “You’re gonna pay for that you fucker.”

The other two moved to grab him and Kayden darted backwards, grinning wildly he ducked under one of their overextended punches and socked him in the stomach, knocking the breath out of Jeff. Then he felt strong arms grab him as Mike pinned his arms to his side. Fuck! Kayden tried to twist and turn out of the grasp, his attention focused elsewhere. Pain flared in his side as the knife went in, he gasped a breath as looked down dully as Sammy pulled the pocket knife out before placing it on Kayden’s throat.

“That wasn’t very nice.” Sammy almost gurgled with the blood mixed saliva coating his mouth.

“Yeah, because I’m a fucking nice guy.” Kayden spat back, his side burning and breath heaving as he weakly struggled against his captor. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

“You’re certainly fucking one.” Mike hissed in his ear, the pungent sent of alcohol and drugs slammed into Kayden.

Kayden could see Jeff starting to stumble to his feet, he needed to either finish this or get out of here soon. As a last ditch effort he reared his head back smashing it into Mikes face; Kayden could feel Sammy’s knife slice his throat open, as he used Mike’s momentum for leverage and kicked Sammy, both Kayden and Mike falling backwards. Mike landed under him, gasping for air and instinctively letting Kayden go. Groaning Kayden got to his feet, his side and neck burning, he kicked Mike in the stomach, hoping it would be enough to keep him down and danced away.

He looked over to see Jeff steadying Sammy. As the two of them turned anger in their eyes, they moved forward; Kayden quickly glanced around, they were blocking the way home, and the only other options would be to run back into the ‘good’ side of town or to keep fighting which was a fools choice. God damn it. The moved in a pincer like movement, well used to cornering prey, but their movements were slightly sloppier, alcohol granting them the use of weapons now but slowing their reactions.

Jeff reached him first and Kayden blocked his punch before twisting round and hitting him in the back of the head, the taller boy wobbled for a moment before collapsing to the ground unconscious. Pain flashed in Kayden’s eyes as Sammy’s blow hit the side of his face. Kayden spat blood out as Sammy grabbed his throat with his free hand, in a vile mockery of Tanner's grip fromt he other night, Kayden’s own hands instinctively grabbed at Sammy's arm, momentarily stunned. He felt the cool press of metal against his face, causing his vision to snap into focus.

“What’s the matter Sammy, scared?” Kayden taunted.

“You’re a fucking piece of shit, you know that.”

“More than you know.” Kayden chuckled dryly; his throat throbbed from the pressure of Sammy’s hand. He could hear the others groaning Mike slowly got up and stumbled over to Jeff, the light sound of a smack to the face, until the third guy groaned.

This was not going as planned, using Sammy’s momentary distraction of checking on his friends, Kayden broke his grasp and turned and ran. One of his hands grasping his bleeding aching side, his eye blurring from the blood and sweat trickling into it he shakily wiped it away, but it just poured more. He could hear the others gaining on him. Kayden quickly darted through as many side streets as he could, he knew it wouldn’t be long before they found him, they were in better shape than he was after all. But he was so close.

Not long now, just a bit further, his hand reached into his pocket and pulled out his keyring as he stumbled up the steps to his building. The key shook as it slowly slid into the lock, the soft click of it opening a momentary relief as he pushed the door open, slamming it shut behind him just in time.

“Get back out here you fucker.”

Kayden gave them the two finger salute and turned it into the middle finger, through the glass, before he gingerly made his way up to his apartment, he could hear them slamming on the main door, calling him all sorts of things. He winced as he heard another door open. The landlords, his gaze assessed Kayden for a moment, before he closed his door. Kayden sighed in relief, making his way to his home, it took him multiple tries to open the door, and swinging it shut behind him he collapsed to the ground, his legs unable to support his own weight.

His head hit the door with a dull thunk, his knuckles sliding off his hand onto the floor. Kayden bit down on his tongue slightly as it suck out of his mouth, as he practically crawled his way across the floor to the bathroom, opening the cabinet he pulled out the large first aid kit Darby and Raina had given him years ago. It was mostly still intact, having been restocked through the years, though any medication that had once been inside it Kayden had used or thrown. He winced as he pulled shrugged off his jacket, momentarily thankful Sammy hadn’t knifed him through it, it wouldn't have been much protection. He pulled his shirt away from the wound, hissing in pain as it stuck to the cut. Kayden pulled it over his head, and looked at the cut on his stomach; he frowned and grabbed the disinfectant, pouring a liberal amount into and around the wound. He rummaged for the needle and thread, this was gonna fucking hurt. He took off his belt and bit down on the leather as he slowly started to stitch himself up. His hands shaking he tied off the thread and placed the needle back on top of it wrapper to clean up later. He sat there breathing for a couple minutes, waiting for the shaking to stop.

He gingerly wiped around the wound and bandaged it, before using the tub and counter he pushed himself up to stand. His reflection stared back at him, mohawk sticking out wildly; his eyes bright and scared, one swelling up, the dark circles under them. His pale torso covered in sticky drying blood, the white patch of the cloth a stark contrast. The long thin bleeding line travelling down his throat that didn't need stitches but would probably scar; his gaze shifted to the cut above his eye, and Kayden realised it that Sammy must have slashed him with the knife as well, he'd been lucky it missed his eye. He grinned at his reflection, and then with shaking hands he started cleaning and bandaging those wounds too. He washed his hands, and woozily made his way to his mattress, collapsing down onto it and leaning his head back against his pillow, trying to sleep. He rested a hand on his forehead and stared blankly at the ceiling.

A loud buzzing noise woke him up. Kayden groaned and looked around, the sun was up, and it was at least midday from that angle. Thank fuck he didn’t have work today. The buzzer rang again. Groaning in pain, he slowly got up and dressed in comfy clothes. Figuring whoever it was could wait, he put the first aid box away, and shut the bathroom door; he’d have to properly clean in there later. Kayden used the back of the couch to make his way over to the doorway and his foot knocked into something, glancing down he saw his knuckles and keys where he’d dropped them. Hissing in pain he reached down, there was a little dried blood on the knuckles, he quickly tucked them away into a recessed wall panel that used to be a hiding place of another kind. Grabbing his keys he opened the door and made his way downstairs.

His brain short circuited for a moment as he gazed through the window, at who was standing on his doorstep, resolutely pressing the buzzer for what must be the nth time. Kayden opened the door slowly, "What're you guys doing here?" He rasped.

"You said to come down whenever and Sat's getting out tomo-." Darby cut off, her eyes wide.

Raina's hands were covering her mouth as she pressed forward, "Kayden, what, what happened?" Her hands soothing on his arm, as she gently turned his face, looking at the bruising.

Kayden froze in her grasp, not sure how to respond to obvious concern. "It's nothing." He shook his head.

"No, it's not, who did this to you?" Raina demanded, her normally quiet voice stern.

He shifted and looked away, "It's nothing. I was walking home and ran into someone."

Darby grabbed their bags, picking them up and putting them down a number of times, before she pushed them further into the entryway, closing the door behind her. "Kayden, you know you can tell us."

"Yeah, of course I fucking can." Kayden pushed away, the Tanner's words from the other night running through his head. He walked away and started up the stairs, biting down on a cry of pain from the movement, leading them up to his apartment floor.

The two girls followed behind him waiting as he opened the door, they piled in, placing their bags on the floor. "How long are you guys staying?"

"For a couple weeks, if that's alright, or we can go back to our parents -."

Kayden waved his hand cutting them off, "It's fine, I'll take the couch, you guys can have the bed." He moved into his room and started stripping the sheets, and putting on a clean set, being careful not to pull his wound. He shoved the slightly bloodied sheets to the side, he'd bleach them later.

Raina was waiting for him at the door, she grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the couch, sitting him down between them, she curled up, her feet underneath her. "What happened?"

And Kayden try as he might, he broke. The whole story came pouring out in a tumbling mess, of going back for Tanner, what he'd done and what had happened since.


	8. It's Not Gonna Matter What You Chose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for a brief panic attack at the end of this chapter.

Kayden stared at the pan as he made breakfast for everyone, working on auto-pilot he adjusted the bacon and eggs as needed. Yesterday Raina and Darby had talked him through what had happened, though he didn't go into all the details about what had happened between him and Tanner. Then they helped clean him and his apartment, before they'd put on crappy TV and ordered take-away. Raina was currently in the bathroom, and Darby was still in his bedroom; Kayden had barely slept on the couch, too nervous about what was happening today. He'd called work early and asked for the next couple of days off, citing family issues and his manager had grudgingly given them to him, what with what had been all over the news. For all that Kayden was a shit, he did good work and it had been a while since he'd taken time off, it irked Kayden to be the recipient of pity, but it got him what he fucking needed. 

Kayden left the pans and started making toast as the door to the bathroom opened. Raina knocked on the bedroom door, a grumbling Darby walked out and sleepily made her way into the bathroom. Raina walked over to him and took over sorting the toast, spreading butter and placing the pieces on their plates, letting him turn his attention back to the other food. They finished making breakfast in companionable silence and dished out the food onto three plates. Kayden didn't have a dining table so Raina jumped onto one of the counters and started eating off the plate on her lap. Kayden leant against a different counter, picking at his food. Darby joined them shortly, picking up and putting down her breakfast repeatedly, until satisfied, and then she started to dig in. They ate in silence but Kayden slowly counted down in his head for Darby to say something.

"I still think there's more to what happened on the mountain."

Kayden shrugged, "Fuck if I know. It didn't turn out how I expected either."

She chewed a mouthful methodically before swallowing and gesturing with her empty fork, "Has anything weird happened?"

Kayden barked out a laugh, "Has anything weird happened, since I sacrificed myself to bring back a friend from the dead. Well, I don't know I ended up being beaten up the other night, after having dinner with Tanner's parents where I was kicked out of his house for being 'my type'. Sound about the normal pace for me." Truthful sarcasm dripped from his tone.

"Kayden." Raina broke in, "She was right last time and we're just worried."

He stared down at his barely touched plate, "No, nothing like the mountain has happened." He shrugged, "Maybe I was fucking lucky for once?" Well aware that saying that could jinx it but he didn't care. He boxed up the left overs and washed his plate, he wasn't hungry. 

"What time is Sat getting here?" Raina asked.

"Around 10, I think. Her parents wanted to take her out for breakfast."

"Probably to make sure they were happy with how she was acting." Kayden muttered under his breath.

"Kayden!" Raina admonished.

He smirked at her, "What, I'm not wrong."

"Well no, but," She sighed. "I hope she's okay."

"We'll see her soon Raina." Darby said, grabbing their plates as Raina moved over to the couch, and Darby started washing them. "I'm going to start researching what on earth you did Kayden, 'cause something happened." She looked over at him soap suds on her her arms, "You're going to help me." 

Kayden grinned and raised his hands mockingly in surrender. Darby flicked soapy water at him and he ducked away. Raina laughed lightly and picked up her art book, Kayden wandered over and rested his head on her shoulder, "What are you drawing then?"

"It's not finished Kayden, go away."

"No, it's fun."

Raina rolled her eyes, "Now I'm going to draw Darby splashing you and squealing!"

Kayden smiled, "Sounds good." He shifted over the back of the seat and plonked down onto the couch, hissing slightly as his side hit with more force than he intended; his feet were dangling off the end, and his head rested almost on Raina's legs, as he breathed freely for the first time in a year.

His peace was broken by Darby holding an old book over his head, grumbling he reached up and grabbed it, not moving position he started reading. Darby shook her head at his antics and sat on the ground with her other pile of books, her back leaning into the bottom of the couch. The book was surprisingly more interesting that he thought it would be, but none of it really matched what he'd done, the hours ticked by with both of them exchanging books and comments, with Raina sitting next to them, fervently sketching in her art book. It almost felt... normal. Kayden shivered at the thought, shying away from it. His gaze flicked over to the clock on the wall, it was nearly 10 o'clock. Yawning he stretched out, shifting his weight he stood up and moved over Darby's hunched forward form as she poured over the three books open in front of her, muttering to herself, with a notebook open that she was writing in. 

Kayden meandered over to the kitchen and got a glass of water, he looked through the window as he did, something flickered in his gaze and his vision shifted to the side of a building across the street, one of the ones he'd cut past to get home, but there was nothing there. Kayden mentally snorted at himself, it probably just a cat or something. He gulped down the rest of his water and put the glass in the sink, looking up as the buzzer went. 

He grabbed his keys and Darby and Raina put their things down, they all headed downstairs as a group, anxiously excited to see Sat. Kayden let them go on ahead, trying to hide his hurting side. He ambled down behind them, watching from partway up the first floor stairs as they opened the door revealing Sat, dressed as usual, her hair styled and fantastic make-up artfully done and a bag at her side. She rushed forward and hugged the others, "I'm missed you all."

Kayden smiled slightly at the sight, moving the rest of the way downstairs, when he reached the bottom the women all reached out and pulled him into the group hug. Kayden reluctantly at first let them, his body stiff and awkward, before he slowly relaxed and giving in he embraced them, allowing the soothing warmth of his friends support him. They stayed there for a couple minutes, just holding onto each other. 

"Sorry to interrupt." Tanner spoke quietly.

Kayden could feel his friends still before they all slowly turned to looking at their formerly deceased friend. Kayden stepped back taking in the others reactions, Raina had her hands pressed to her chest, Darby was staring eyes wide and Sat... Sat was crying, her hand held out in front of her, shaking and too scared to close the distance between them. Tanner stepped forward and grabbed her hand. "It's me Sat. Since 1st grade." The scar of the number 1 visible on his arm, framed by the sleeve he'd unbuttoned.

"Tanner!" She breathed out in a cry and hugged him, pulling the others back in as well. 

Kayden hung back until they broke up, silently ushering them back into his flat, he shut the door behind them as they all relocated to the couch. He moved over to the window again as they all squished into the small sofa, just big enough for the four of them. Their voices washed over him as they excitedly caught up. Holding his breath he stared down at the empty lot next door, his gaze not really picking out any details in particular.

"Kayden." Sat called out and he gingerly turned around to face her. 

"Good lord, Kayden what happened?" Tanner spoke up before Sat could continue, his eyes wide. 

"Sammy and his minions trapped him on his way back home the other night." Raina said quietly. Kayden just shrugged, his gaze anywhere but on Tanner, trying to forget the memories of the last time he was here.

"What did you do, how did you do it?" Sat asked, the good friend that she was sensing that he didn't want to talk about what had happened with their former schoolmates.

Kayden frowned and turned back to the window, not wanting to relive it again, but unable to escape Darby's and Raina's retelling of what he'd told them. He heard them both gasp and Tanner jumped out of the chair and started pacing, when the girls described the corpses and his eyes opening. Kayden glanced at him covertly, he looked positively green at the thought.  

When they got to the explosion Kayden cried out in pain as Sat hugged him her head burrowing into his chest, if not for the wall he was leaning against they would have fallen to the floor. He hesitantly reached up and stroked his hands down her back. "Don't you ever do something like that again Kayden." She choked out, her voice wobbling from the tears streaming down her face. Kayden just nodded wordlessly and moved her back over to the couch, sitting down with her as Tanner also joined them. The five of them pressed together as Darby and Raina finished retelling what had happened. 

"We're now trying to figure out what exactly occured, something must have, everything has a price." Darby finished, insisting on her opinion.

"But nothing strange has happened?"

"No, nothing on my end at least." Kayden confirmed, still avoiding looking at Tanner, he heard Sat's intake of breath and he looked up, following her gaze.

Tanner was frowning, "Something happened to me," He whispered, his hands fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, his camera had been abandoned to the kitchen counter, so the others could hug him properly and he looked lost without it. He glanced over at the camera. "I was taking pictures and developing them, I could sense things about the people in them, things I shouldn't know." He paused, "At first I thought it was nothing, but now that those have things happened." His voice broke slightly. 

"What, what kind of things?" Sat asked quietly, her hand resting on his arm. 

"Some things were insignificant, such as what moods they were in when the pictures were taken, other things were sensations of what was going to happen to them." Kayden flinched when Tanner locked eyes with him, the guilt in his eyes echoing his own, "Like them being stabbed."

The world seemed to blur, his breath shortened and the others reactions became muffled. Kayden pushed out from the other's hold on the sofa and stumbled into the bathroom, the world spinning around him as it seemed to tilt on its axis. He couldn't breathe. Kayden slammed the bathroom door shut behind him and locked it. Ignoring the others voices as they banged on the door, he stumbled over to the tub pulling a towel with him and half fell into it, body too numb to register pain. Curling his knees up and wrapping his head in his arms he pressed his face into the towel and screamed, his whole body shaking. He rocked back and forth. He'd fucked everything up. 


	9. We Can Never Go Back, What Am I To Say To That?

Kayden came back to conscious steadily, he was too warm, he could feel the bodies lying around him. He had fuzzy memories of Sat picking the lock to the bathroom and calming him down enough to get him out of the tub and onto his floor mattress. Kayden concentrated, he could vaguely remembered holding onto both her and Tanner. He could hear voices murmuring above him as he lay between two people, he stayed slumped back as if he was still zoned, his ears picking out their voices.

"What else happened, Tanner?" Sat's quietly inquired, "He'll barely look at you."

Kayden felt the other man shift on the mattress, "I don't know how to explain..." 

Sat sighed, "You need to talk to him about it at least."

Tanner chucked, "I'm not sure that's the best idea after what has happened."

Kayden held still as they lay there in silence, hoping they hadn't realised he could hear them, waiting until one of them talked again. "Your last words were that you loved me." A pause, and then, "I love you too."

Tanner flinched, "Sat, are you sure now is the time?"

"Tanner, you can't run away from any of this," Her voice raised into a slight growl, "Tell me what's going on, or I'll corner Kayden instead."

Sighing Tanner shifted on the mattress, "I love you, I do, but I'm well aware that it might not be the same way you love me." His breath hitched, and he seemed to be forcing out, "Perhaps not even how I love Kayden."

Sat gasped, "You told him?" Kayden could feel her shaking her head, "No, more than that, you slept together!" She exclaimed louder than probably intended.

"Sat, keep it down." Tanner hissed, "I still don't know where I stand."

"Of course, sorry," She whispered back and after a moment, "Kayden's been in love with you for years, you know that right?"

"What? No he hasn't." Tanner scoffed in disbelief.

"It's true, but what with your father and everything, he was never going to say anything."

"But I though you two were together for the longest time."

"Oh, we were, but Kayden and I are too similar in some ways and too different in others. We brought out too much in each other, the relationship was too unbalanced." She sighed, "We stayed friends, and let people believe we were together because it was easier for both of us. I didn't have to deal with other guys, and the only person Kayden was interested in wasn't available." Kayden felt something brush his head, fingers stroking the side of his face, "We were just friends when we went on the first camping trip and anything we'd taken was purely consensual."

"I - I didn't know." Tanner stuttered.

Sat snorted, "You weren't meant to."

"I'm sorry I pushed the drug thing." 

"Why were you so adamant that he'd drugged you guys?"

"Seemed like the type of game he'd play."

She sighed, "You know that's not true."

Tanner groaned, "I know that, he never once truly goaded us into joining you to, merely teased. I just was so angry at him, I felt like he'd taken you away from me, with danger and drugs." He spat the last part.

"It was all my choice, besides," Sat shrugged, "I'm the one who got him into it."

"What?!" Tanner snapped and Kayden moved slightly at the harsh sound.

There was a couple of moments of tense silence and Kayden almost breathed a sigh of relief when they continued, "He ended up further involved than I was," Kayden could feel the shifting movement of her shrug, "but I was the one who first tried it and introduced him,” Kayden could practically picture her smirking, "That change your opinion of me so much?"

Tanner didn't respond to the jibe, instead he spoke softly, "You still love him."

It was a statement not a question but Sat responded anyways, "Of course I do."

"Romantically?" The hesitancy in his voice twinged at Kayden's heart.

"Yes and no." Sat paused, "This is a conversation for another time Tanner, after you've worked out things between the two of you."

"One last question." Tanner insisted and Sat must have nodded, "How do you love me?"

A long pause and Kayden started to think Sat wouldn't answer, his arm was going to sleep under him, he needed to move soon. "The same way I love Kayden." She finally answered.

Silence settled over the trio and Kayden waited what felt like excruciating minutes, now hyper aware of how he was sandwiched between the two of them and the heavy conversation that had just happened. They were each lost in their own head spaces, when Kayden shifted, his arm having definitely gone numb, pins and needles buzzed through it and he blinked open his eyes to find Tanner and Sat looking down at him. He groaned.

"Feeling better?" Sat asked grinning down at him.

"I feel like fucking shit." His voice was hoarse and his mouth dry, "Water?" He asked, propping himself up against the wall as Tanner passed him the glass and he sipped it first, before gulping the drink down. "Where are the others?" He sounded closer to normal, but still dry, he cleared his throat, hoping that would help.

"They're researching the books still, they didn't want to crowd you too much." Tanner responded.

"Speaking of crowds, I'll go get you some more water." Sat announced, clambering out of bed and shutting the door behind her. Kayden would bet that if she could have locked it she would have. He also bet that she was listening at the door.

His shoulders slumped as he turned to look at Tanner, "So, you saw me being attacked?"

Tanner shook his head, "It's not like that, I wasn't even sure if it was actually happening." He played with the frames of his glasses, "That night, was amazing, and I wanted a memory of it, so I took a picture. Nothing too untoward, just a picture of you sleeping topless, with the covers over your lower half..." He broke off embarrassment colouring his voice and cheeks, "I left in the middle of the night because I needed to sneak back in. It was a day or two until I had the house to myself and I started developing the film. At first I could just feel emotions through the images, and then I got the sense that someone had eaten waffles for breakfast that day. Weird things like that. I pushed it from my mind. Finally I started to develop the ones of you and I felt what you felt for me. It was terrifying, I wasn’t sure how to process it, and then all I felt was pain and the image of a pocket knife was burned into my head." Tanner put his glasses back on and rubbed at the side of his neck, "I avoided you, thinking I was loosing it. Part of me wondered if you being near me would cause what I saw to happen or some shit like that."

"Fuck that." Kayden grunted, "For all we know it would have happened anyway, even if I'd known, or you'd tried to change it. Hell it could have been made worse."

"I guess." Tanner chewed his bottom lip and Kayden felt his breath shorten at the sight. "It's changed now, I was taking some pictures yesterday and I could see people emotions, their auras around them through the camera's lens." He shivered, "It's why I haven’t taken any pictures of us."

"Huh." Kayden's eloquently stumped response sat in the air between them, "Is it the camera?"

"No, I tested that." Tanner shook his head.

Kayden looked at the bed, his hand tapping on the mattress, "Did," he sighed heavily, "Did you want more between us than what happened the other night?"

Tanners hand pressed on top of his, and Kayden raised his eyes to Tanner's gaze, "Yes, I want that." His tongue flicked out licking his dry lips, "But I can’t with my parents being who they are."

"And living in fucking denial is better?"

"I'm scared Kayden." Tanner whispered, "Of this and what's happening to me." He paused, "Sat said she loved you."

Kayden shifted under his gaze, "And?"

"She wouldn't say how."

Kayden smirked, "Sounds like her, this is something she needs to tell you herself any-fucking-way."

"No, I get that. It's just, I'm so confused." He seemed to be mulling something over, "Is it true she introduced you to drugs, not the other way 'round?"

Kayden could feel his heart thudding, did he lie, or... "I can't believe she told you that."

"Fucking hell." Tanner said hanging his head.

"Hey, at least you're figuring out that putting her on that pedestal is a bad idea."

Tanner laughed dryly, "You kept saying that to me through high school, I just thought it was you being a jerk and trying to force us apart."

"I did do it mostly to push your buttons." Kayden laughed, "You rose to the occasion so well."

Tanner rolled his eyes, "We should probably go see what taking your water so long." Kayden smirked at the sarcasm and they both made their way out of the bed. As they reached the doorway, Tanner pulled Kayden in and kissed him. "Sorry, I just wanted... something, before I had to hide again."

"You shouldn't have to fucking hide."

Tanner just smiled sadly and opened the door, their three friends where sitting on the couch, looking far too innocent for it to be true. "How much did you guys hear?" Kayden asked, resigned.

Raina started protesting but what overpowered by Sat's gleeful, "All of it!"

Kayden rubbed his forehead, and shifted his gaze to Darby, "Did you find anything?"

"I think so." She sorted through some papers, "Now this is a long shot, but I think whatever creature you struck a deal with took the energy animating the corpses rather that your life."

Kayden blinked, "That's fucking brilliant then."

She grimaced, "I'm not sure if it is." She flipped to a different page, "It could be a good thing, and their existence probably taking more energy than your life could have provided explains how and why Tanner has these abilities, but the part I'm not sure on," She hesitated, "Is if the ritual consumed those animated corpses, I get the feeling the creature controlling them wouldn't be happy about that."

"But how would they have been substituted without that power knowing?" Sat inquired.

"That's where it get's dicier, either the 'power', as you called it, let it happen to what end I don't know," She looked around.

"Or?" Raina prompted, her hand patting Darby's knee.

"Or, we'd weakened it enough by cleansing the land it had lost control of the zombies." She tapped her finger against a book absently, "Both reasons could explain why they let you take him from the mines."

"Either way, this probably isn't fucking over." Kayden surmised.


	10. As If I Had A Soul To Steal.

Kayden was staring absently out of the window again, he was leaning into the exposed brick wall, his back to the others as they talked and looked through things. The world outside was a dull grey and Kayden saw a flicker of movement and his gaze drifted slowly towards it. His body tensed, that definitely counted as being different. There was a figure in the distance, they were dark and Kayden couldn’t make out the details, but something about them seemed off putting. He watched until they moved, there, they seemed to blur almost as if they were moving too fast to see. Kayden frowned, trying to figure out what they could be, so intent with his thoughts, he slowly realised that the creature was staring straight back at him. Their eyes locked with Kayden's and he flinched, he could feel the wide grin that stretched across their being. His head started to throb and Kayden fell backwards, breaking the gaze. What the fuck was that. He scrambled back up, but whatever the creature was, they were gone.

“Kayden are you alright?”

“Not really, I just saw something watching me.” He answered absently.

“What?!” Darby responded, “What did it look like?”

Kayden shrugged, “Dark figure, seemed to moved to fast to follow, matching its gaze hurt my head.”

“I can work with that.” She muttered.

“Does that mean it’s waiting outside for us?” Raina asked quietly.

“There’s nothing to say it couldn’t get inside.” Kayden said shrugging.

“Real comforting, thanks for that.”

“Anytime,” Kayden smirked, “I think you’re okay though.”

“Why that?”

Kayden met Sat’s eyes, “Because I think it’s been following me.” 

Kayden blinked and things seemed to slow around him, the others freezing in place. Ice seemed to crystallize on his floors and walls, creeping over his furniture and his breath came out in a soft mist, the now freezing air harsh on his lungs. He felt a pressure building behind him, cold emanating from the glass, he turned around slowly, shivering, as the ice seemed to creep up his legs. He turned around to see something, an amorphous being of indescribable shape was on the other side of the window, not seeming to care that they were suspended stories from the ground. The icy cold terror seemed to freeze the blood in his veins as he stood stock still, wondering what on Earth he could do. But the entity's attention was fixed elsewhere, they reared up and shot through the sky. Kayden stepped forward, foolishly moving as if he could follow them. Sights and sounds blurred as passed by and then Kayden was stood on a street.

He glanced around, he was a couple of blocks from his apartment. "What the fuck is going on?" He muttered to himself.

He watched as the figure he'd somehow followed moved, gesturing and swelling with its formless being and Kayden observed as a man walking along the street clutched his chest and fell to his knees. Kayden itched to move forward instinctively wanting to help, but held himself back, too scared of the creature before him. He watched as the man shuddered and something just as amorphous rose out of him; tearing into multiple strips, traveling in numerous directions, but the main piece hovered above him, as if waiting. The being surged forward, devouring the substance.

"What the fuck!?" Kayden letting out a strangled yell. The creature shifted, their sightless gaze now focused on him. “What are you?” He stuttered out through chattering teeth.

What the creature responded with wasn’t human by any means, it didn’t even sound like a language. A hand, a claw, something, reached forward and Kayden couldn't move, they wrapped around his body, and with a start Kayden saw he was made of the same ephemeral substance. "What's happening to me?"

A cacophony of sound assaulted him, only this time he could understand it.  _'You did this to yourself. Did you not think that dying and coming back would have it's consequences?'_

"What am I, what are you?" Kayden hissed, his inside were burning.

_‘No one of consequence, I merely found you interesting.’_

“I’m fucking delighted.” Kayden drawled.

A sound that could only be described as something crashing emanated from the creature. With a start Kayden realised it was laughing,  _‘You are the first of your kind in generations. Many will seek you.'_   Their body-less figure seemed to expand as if they were spreading their arms wide,  _'Look_ _how they play.'_

Kaydens vision swam as his gaze was directed elsewhere. He could see the being slightly clearer now, still indescribable, but a hardening of the outline, as if their matter had shifted to a solider state. The world was different, as if someone has dumped an shimmering layer of paint over everything. He could see connections branching from the people around him, Kayden was standing now, somehow, he whirled around, the information overwhelming him. It was like a bad acid trip... "Have I fucking relapsed?"

_'No.'_

"Of course you'd fucking say that." Kayden growled.

_'Look up.'_

Kayden's breath caught in his throat as breath caught, it was terrifying. He looked into the vastness of space around them. He felt the creatures, the entities in the mountains and throughout the entire town, they were many, though all were different to the creature in front of him. Pain lanced through his neck and he felt the needle like tendrils of the being that he had followed here tear into him. Kayden screamed and tried to pull away. The burning power of his soul being ripped away.

 _'You’re all so delicious, full of untapped powers. Si_ _lly boy knows not what he did.'_ The ground rushed away from him as he was lifted into the air, they reared up and hovered over him, the needles of their maw leaving his shoulder. 

Kayden hung in their grasp limply, a hand grabbed his, warm and familiar he glanced to the side, Darby's face was floating there, air drifting around it as she concentrated. The creature reared backward, screeching at her. They blurred away in a twisting contorting movement, dropping Kayden.

Kayden fell through air, he slammed onto the wooden floor of his apartment, his body slowly warming, “Darby what did you do?” He whispered, everything felt heavy. 

“Darby!” Raina’s shriek pierced Kayden’s eardrums, he turned his achingly heavy head to see Darby lying on the ground next to him, trails of blood leaking from her mouth, eyes and ears as she breathed weakly.

“Fuck!” Kayden weakly lurched to his knees, he could see the energy draining out of Darby and the small trickle she drew from Raina’s tightly grasping hand. The lines were fainter than before but still visible.

"What do we do?!” Sat placed.

”Not again...” Tanner whispered.

”Fucking help me!” Kayden shouted, he pitched forward grabbing Darby's arm, he fucking hoped this worked. The others moved over to him, he grabbed their hands and placed them on Darby. Breathing deeply he tried to push their energy back into her, and to dam the tide leaking out of her. Please let this fucking work. He heard the sharp intake of the others as they looked at him and Darby. Kayden didn't care, he was staring down at the still form of his friend who'd saved him, Raina slumped over her crying. ”I am not loosing anyone else.” Kayden screamed into the silence, pouring even more energy into her. He closed his eyes, praying to what he didn't know.

Darby gasped loudly her body jolting upright, her arms wrapping around Raina, "Thank you." She whispered, collapsing her full weight into Raina waiting embrace.

“What the fuck is going on?” Sat yelled, her voice hysterical. "You suddenly collapse and then Darby did something to bring you back, only to start bleeding from her freaking eyes. What the fuck!?" Her voice rose into a desperate plea.

Kayden slumped backwards, "Well, I'm no longer fucking normal, for one."

"And what does that mean then?" She demanded starting to pace around the room. Raina was clinging to Darby, having pulled her barely conscious girlfriend into her lap. Tanner was slumped next to all of them, staring at his camera sitting on the kitchen counter.

"The thing, I followed them, I don't know how, I left my body or some shit like that." Kayden shuddered, "I saw things, connections, I saw someone die." He put his head in his hands. "I can still see the energy now, just fainter. It's how I helped Darby."

"What the hell?" Raina asked, her voice raw and empty.

"Astral projection." Darby muttered, "Energy manipulation." Her voice slightly clearer she propped herself up slightly, the two of them tangled together leaning against the bottom of the couch." She laughed, it sounded like a dry wheeze, "I guess we have our answers about your abilities now then, huh?"

"I guess fucking so." Kayden agreed, his jaw clenched, as his body shook, "I-," He breathed, "I don't think it's just us, the entity seemed interested in you guys too."

"Fucking great!" Sat exclaimed, throwing her hands up wildy.

"I think I might know how to find out." Tanner whispered, the gentleness of his voice somehow cutting through the air and adding to the tension, as he stared at his camera.

Everyone stilled, the idea sitting heavily between them, unsure how to respond to the implied suggestion. They watched as he gingerly stood up, his whole body tense as he moved over to the camera. His hands were white knuckled and full of stress as he picked up the camera. Tanner breathed for a moment before slowly lifting it to his eyes. The heard his sharp intake of air, before he slowly pressed the button with a small click, followed by the snapping of the shutter. Tanner lowered the camera and stared at them, his eyes wide. "I still see it." He whispered.


	11. I'm Not My Own, It's Not My Choice.

"What do you see Tanner?" Kayden implored, the other man just stared at them helplessly, the camera held loosely in his grasp. Moving awkwardly in his now heavy body Kayden shuffled over to the man he loved. He gently took the camera from Tanner's shaking hands and set it aside, placing it gently on the kitchen counter. "What do you fucking see Tanner?" He pleaded, "You can tell us."

"I-." Tanner closed his eyes and leant forward, his head resting on Kayden's shoulder, "I see the faint shimmer of energy everywhere."

"I see that too." Kayden breathed, trying to reassure him.

"Do you see the outlines around people, telling you their feeling and aspects about them too?" His voice hopeful.

Kayden hesitated, before letting out a regretful, "No."

"Damn it." Tanner exhaled, he pushed away from Kayden and moved over to the others, "I can see something, floating around all of you, telling me things about your mood and -." He broke off, crouching down and fiddling with his glasses, "I can see something mixed in with all of us." He looked over at Darby, "I'm not sure we're fully human anymore."

"We are." Darby said reaching forward for his hand, "We're just different."

"Not much of a change than usual then is it?" Raina commented, trying to add some levity to the situation.

Tanner chuckled briefly, "I suppose not."

"What can you tell us about what you see?" Sat asked, sitting next to him and pulling him into her arms.

He looked down at himself, "I think you're right that I can see auras, or something like that. Kayden's as you said too Darby, he seemed detached from his body." Tanner leaned into Sat, "I'm not sure what the rest of you are. Darby I can see information flowing through and floating around you." He shrugged helplessly, "Raina, the world around you almost seemed to shift into drawings." He looked at Sat, "I just see something pulling and pushing when looking at you."

"But what does that mean?" Sat implored.

Tanner shrugged, "I don't know."

"What did you see earlier?" Darby asked the room, "When Kayden saved me." She looked at their shifting glances, "You saw the shimmering energy that Tanner mentioned, didn't you?"

"I didn't know what it was." Sat whispered.

"I'm not sure." Raina added, her voice tentative, "What actually happened Darby?"

She grimaced, "I used my energy to pull him back and wound the creature attacking him," She looked at Raina, "But it took too more than I anticipated, Kayden saved me by giving me some of everyone's." Darby leaned her head back against Raina in comfort, "I'm sorry if I worried, you."

"Well you did." Raina admonished, her grip tightening, "Don't do that again."

Darby expression softened, "No promises, but I'll try to not overexert myself," She kissed Raina on the lips, smiling as she did. Breaking the kiss, Darby stared into Raina's eyes for a moment, before she looked around the room at everyone else, "I'd hazard a guess that means all of us might have the energy manipulation ability then."

"What does it fucking mean?" Kayden ranted, his hand anxiously tapping down on the counter, "Why the fuck did these things have to bloody happen to us?!"

"There's only one way to find out." Tanner's rough voice responded, "We learn about them and then demand answers."

"You want to try controlling them?" Raina asked incredulous.

"I don't see how we have any other choice." Tanner replied dejectedly.

"Are you still seeing our.. auras?" Sat asked.

"Yeah, but it's not as shocking as before, I think if I work at it I can choose what I see, if anything."

"And the rest of us are to what, just sit around and hope that something happens?" Sat retorted.

"I can probably help there, pass me by books." Darby smiled.

"No!" Raina interjected, "You need rest."

"And I will." She looked at her girlfriend and something unspoken passed between them, before Raina nodded slightly, she pushed her sketchbook away, her hand brushing a drawing, and knocking the image out, a mug rolled away from her hand, coming to rest a couple feet away.

"Well shit, that happened." Kayden snorted, breaking the silence as everyone stared at the former drawing of a mug. 

Shaking Raina picked up the art book and shut it gently, she placed it aside and wordlessly passed Darby one of her research books. Darby's arm shook slightly as she put it down next to her before picking it back up. Kayden shambled over to the mug, his body still feeling too heavy. He prodded at it with his foot, it rolled as a mug normally would. He slowly reached down and picked it up, it felt like cool porcelain, it was a standard mug with a geometric print on it, probably from a boring shading exercise. "This is real." He looked at the others, "This feels real."

"Fuuccckk..." Sat drawled out, her eyes wide. 

"What does it mean?" Raina's quiet voice left her small form.

"I - I don't know, but something happened to us," Darby said, "I think the Goatman gave us something, or at least opened the possibility of something."

"And I fucking invited it." Kayden fumed.

"We don't know that, we can't know that, Kayden." Sat denied.

"But it fucking makes sense!" He shouted, "I'm the one who went back and tampered with things! I'm the one fucked it all up! I caused this, I'm the reason that something is going to come after us, I'm the -." He cut off, his voice stuck in his throat, Kayden whirled around and punched the brick wall, feeling the skin break and fingers dislocate. He stood, vibrating in anger and hating the silence behind him.

"You're the one who saved me." Tanner beseeched.

"We can fix this Kayden." Darby's voice called out, reassuring, "We will fix this."

Kayden felt Sat's hand on his shoulder, it seemed to press the heavy flesh down further than it used to, everything felt so ungainly. She pulled him towards her and he rested his head on her shoulder, his arms, feeling slightly lighter, coming up to wrap around her. Something shifted around them. Sat had done something. They both pulled away, Kayden staring at her as her gaze was focused on her hands. "What did I just do?"

"You pulled some of the darkness away from him." Tanner whispered, his wide eyes fixed on Sat.

"Into myself or - or what?" Sat asked, he voice shaking.

"I don't know, it seemed to change." Tanner's voice cracking, "I think you changed it," His attention shifted to Kayden, "He seems," Tanner smiled, "Luckier somehow, as if the balance was pulled the other way."

"Like I made Kayden less likely to get jumped," Her voice grew quieter, "Or causing small inconveniences to happen to those I dislike," She eyes closed and she pulled her hands into her stomach, "I thought I was loosing it. I was so scared. When in rehab there were a couple girls who'd heard the news and were teasing me, in that 'oh so sweet, we were only playing' way," Her voice grew colder, "One of them had a mild allergic reaction to something, similar things happening to the others." Sat looked up at them, "Did I do that?"

"I think," Tanner said, testing his voice and getting to his feet, "I think you did Sat."

"I don't know how to do this." Her eyes wild, "Kayden do you have anything?"

Kayden backed up, "No, no! Fuck! I don't Sat, I threw everything!"

"You did?" Tanner the surprised comment slipping out, he shook his head and set that aside, "Sat, you don't need it, you have us." He stepped gently towards her. "We'll get through this all of us." Tanner reached out.

Sat flinched away, "Don't. What if I do it to you?" 

"Then we can fix it." He paused, holding hand out to her, but not forcing her, "I don't care if you do Sat, I trust you." Shaking she reached out and grabbed his hand, Tanner pulled her into a hug and his eyes met Kayden, he jerked his head at him. 

Rubbing his forehead Kayden moved over and wrapped his arms around the both of them, ignoring the pain in his hand. He held onto two of the people he loved, until Sat moved, pulling away, her face streaked with tears, her usually pristinely extravagant make-up smeared. She gently took Kayden's hand and met his gaze, he nodded once and hissed in pain as she pushed the fingers back in. The three of them moved over to the bathroom and they silently cleaned his wound. Kayden could see Darby and Raina now sitting on the couch and looking through the books trying to find something. 

"The fucking thing that's bothering me," Kayden spoke up, his voice louder than he expected, he shifted volume and continued, "Is, why did they wait until we were together, and fucking why are we all noticing our powers now?"

"I can answer part of that actually," Sat said, "We're more powerful together, aren't we Darby?" The other girl nodded, "Like a coven or something?"

"Yes, yes." Darby nodded, "We started something tonight, I don't know if coven is the right word, but it could work, though we're not really the right number."

"We're noticing our powers because there's something to find." Raina added, "I think that's why the creature went for you Kayden, that and the nature of your power." She looked down at a book she had open, "They probably wanted to break the core. You, the one who changed everything."

"Fucking hell." Kayden groaned.

"My abilities increased when they involved Kayden." Tanner reasoned, "It fits."

"This is fucking brilliant." Kayden lamented, resting his head back against the wall and staring at the ceiling.

"What about you Darby, have you noticed anything?" Raina queried. 

Darby's finger trailed down the page of a book, "No, but I think I'm too tired to." Her voice light, she chuckled, "That took a lot out of me."

"Rest then," Tanner said, "Kayden will make some food and we'll try and recuperate."

"Oh, I'll make food will I?" He snarked back, his tone attempting to lighten the mood.

"Yes." Tanner smirked and raised an eyebrow in response. Kayden rolled his eyes, saluted Tanner with his good hand and made his way over to the kitchen.

"What if they come back?" Sat worried.

"If they come back, they come back," Kayden waved his hand, "There's not much we can fucking do but try and get our strength back."

"They could be just as worn out, from what Darby said to me, they were just as strained by what she did, if not more. Besides we need to figure time to things out." Raina consoled, patting the couch next to her to get Sat to join them.


	12. I'll Open The Door To Heaven Or Hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for a panic attack towards the end and someone zoning out.

Nearly a day passed in hasty preparation. The worry of when the creature would return and the palpable desperation of trying to figure out their powers, kept all of them balanced on the knife edge of terror; wondering when the next thing would go wrong. Kayden watched the other from where he sat on the floor in the corner of the open plan living room, his back resting against the exposed bricks. Tanner was in the kitchen area with Sat, squinting and staring at her, occasionally shifting his head and responding to something she said as she sat on one of the counters, attempting to change the karma - as she'd taken to calling it - that she seemed to access around her. Raina was curled up similarly to Kayden on the floor, but by the large window opposite the couch, her sketchbook open in her lap and an arbitrary collection of odds and ends around her as she tried to create and hide items within the book; she'd had mixed success, some of the items seemed to be more paper than whatever material they were meant to be. Darby had taken over Kayden's partially sagging couch and was surrounded in open books and notes; her usually slick hair was sticking up in a wild cowlick on one side. She kept picking things up and putting them down, occasionally muttering excitedly to herself as she referenced something.

Kayden blinked and looked down at his hands, they were corporeal, he was meant to be trying to project himself again, but fuck if he wasn't sure that was a good idea. His body ached dully, he no longer felt as heavy as he had went he first came back to it, but the injuries he'd taken were tender; he silently wondered if he was counted as dead when he left, because he was healing slower than usual. He closed his eyes and rested his head forward, as much as he didn't want to do this, they needed him to. Fucking hell, here goes nothing. Kayden exhaled deeply and focused on the cold indeterminate sensations he'd felt last time. He let his body drop away from him as he stood up and took a single step forward. The vivid lines of energy crackled around him and he looked down, he was the same nebulous entity as before, a smokey grey that twisted out of itself, he didn't have legs, he noted dully. Or rather, he only had extremities when he concentrated on needing them. Fuck that was weird.

Kayden looked behind him, staring down at his body that had folded in on itself. He was unconscious, his chest slowly moving, a wisp of energy connected the body to him. Kayden floated over to Darby, she didn't seem to notice him and he looked over her shoulder, she'd written a jumble of information down, none of it made sense to Kayden. Leaving her to it, he drifted towards Sat and Tanner, neither of them noticed him, but Kayden could see power fluctuating around them as they attempted to control it. He stared at both of them for a long moment, letting his thoughts drop away and enjoy seeing two people he loved alive. Kayden absently formed a hand and stroked it down Tanner's face, who flinched and looked around wildly. 

"Kayden?" He asked, his eyes searching and hands raised almost protectively. Kayden could think of a number of ways to have fun with this, but he dropped his hand, he should probably return to his body. 

His hovering form shifted over to Raina, watching as she pulled another mug out of the sketchbook before forcing it back into the pages. Her tongue was sticking out the corner of her mouth as she concentrated. He looked out the window, he saw the same overlay of energy over the buildings, streets and people, and could see some formless entities moving around, non were the creature from last time. He could feel something building in the distance, a dull thudding sensation that seemed to pulse through him. It was mirrored by a lighter one that almost seemed to call to him. He twisted, turning to face the sensation, it was coming from the mountains and almost without finishing the thought he was flying through the wall and heading straight for the top of the cliff.

The journey was a blurred passage of buildings bleeding into trees, until he reached the summit. It was strangely peaceful as his amorphous form settled onto the top of the cliff, he could see for miles around him. The glowing beacon of the medicine wheel's energy pulsing in front of him. Wind whipped around him, buoying him. He stepped forward and his being changed, he looked down at himself, for intents and purposes he seemed solid, but he could still see and feel all of the astral sensations around him. "I can be in two places at once then, fuck me that's weird."

A footstep behind him made him jump, Kayden turned and standing there at the top of the mountain was the Goatman, their form was nebulous like Kayden's astral one. They inclined their head and gestured to the ground before sitting down. Kayden slowly sank to his knees, he mirrored the Goatman and crossed his legs. 

_"I am sorry it has come to this."_

"Come to what?" Kayden questioned, "What the fuck is happening?"

_"I am dying."_

"What? How the fuck is that possible?"

_"I completed my purpose, the mountain has been cleansed."_

"So your giving the fuck up?"

_"I have no choice, my path is over. I knew something was coming so I tried to help you."_

"Helped us?!" Kayden yelled, "You scared us an inch from our lives and minds the first time we were here, Sat nearly died after what you did! Then last time we had to piece together a fucking puzzle to clean up your fucking mess, and Tanner did God damn die!"

 _"I am sorry my mistakes hurt you."_ The figure moved, the goat skull turning to the side,  _"I don't have much time, you must listen!"_ They implored.

"Fuck!" Kayden swore, holding his anger at bay, he nodded for them to continue.

_"I did try to scare you away the first time, and then you came back, the only ones to do so. I foolishly thought you could do what needed to be done."_

"We did!" Kayden interrupted, "And Tanner was killed!"

 _"I know, I did not want that to happen."_ The skull moved close to Kayden,  _"I knew I would eventually pass from this realm, I needed someone to guard in my stead. I left the possibility behind in all of you, thinking one day when I was gone, that one or more of you would take up the mantle."_ Their tone grew darker,  _"I did not anticipate the darkness reaching out as well, I did not think one of you would be so foolish as to force the ritual to do what you did!"_

"How the fuck was I meant to know that!" Kayden shouted, "I WANTED MY FRIEND BACK! WE ALL DID!" He deflated, "It was why we did what you asked in the fucking first place."

 _"I know."_ The Goatman reached forward, a hand resting on Kayden's arm,  _"I chose to help you, giving up the power I had remaining to bring your friend back, directing the energy to take the corpses instead. But you lit the bonfire, you awoke the entity you felt earlier; a Soul Eater. The world must have balance and they are the balance you have created."_

"What can I do to stop them?" Kayden pleaded.

 _"You? Nothing."_ A pause,  _"Together with your friends you might stand a chance, but none of you will ever be normal again, you will be forever changed by what you must do."_

"I will not fucking force them like you did."

_"You all may go and live your lives as you choose, ignoring the problem you unleashed on the world, always wondering at the back of your mind if there was something you could have done."_

"And turn into fucking you?"

 _"Yes."_ The Goatman hissed.

"I will not make your mistakes."

 _"You are a foolish prideful mortal, but I pray you do not."_ The Goatman pulled back,  _"I know not of how to destroy it, you will have to find than answer yourselves. You have the power, more than I had between all of you."_

"Do you not know fucking anything that can help us?"

 _"Only that it will hunt you and it is insatiable, if it senses an unclaimed soul near death it must seek it, to exclusion of all else."_ The Goatman stood in a hurried but fluid motion,  _"You must go, now! Quickly!"_

Kayden turned to where they were staring to see the Soul Eater suspended in the air their terrifying presence focused on the two of them. They swooped down careening towards Kayden and the Goatman moved in front of him, their arms physically holding back the amorphous maw that reached for Kayden. Kayden stumbled backwards, focusing on the wisp of a thread he felt earlier, trying to pull himself back to his body. The connection was sluggish, but he felt himself slowly moving and gaining speed. He watched in horror as the Goatman screamed and was torn into,  _"Tell Darby, I am proud of her..."_ The Goatman's final request as they shoved their power at the Soul Eater.

Kayden was back in his body, he jerked up, gasping for air and looking around panicked. The others were where he'd left him, all having looked up at the sound and were in various stages of moving towards him. He stared at Darby in a alarm, gasping out, "Soul Eater. Fucking killed Goatman. Proud of you." Before the walls closed in around him, the air leaving his lungs, he shook and curled into a ball, not registering the hands on his cold skin and concern around hovering above him. His eyes glazed over, unfocusing as his thoughts latched onto the corner of the couch in front of him, there was a small tear in the material, strands of fabric coming from it; the hole was in a weird place, part way up skirting at on the base. Huh, how did that fucking happen.


	13. Watch How The Child In You Dies.

Kayden came back to conscious to a similar sensation as last time, he had two people curled around him, though this time they were still by the corner of the room, and they were talking to him in soothing voices. Fuck that. His eyes fluttered and he grunted, moving gingerly, the heavy sensation was back, though not as jolting a feeling as last time; either he was getting used to it or forming a more solid form whilst out there had helped. He glanced up to see Tanner and Sat by him again, their fuzzy forms were blurred and he blinked a couple times. He weakly pushed at them and they moved away, letting him sit up as he rested his back against the cool brick of the wall. 

"Well that was fucking fun." He wheezed dryly.

"Are you okay Kayden?" Tanner's quietly sincere voice inquired.

"Fuck no." Kayden spat, "But we don't have time to care about that." He raised a shaking hand to his throbbing head, "How long was I zoned out?"

"No more than ten minutes."

Kayden's eyes widened, that was better than he'd expected, "Right so. I fucked up." He held a pale hand up forestalling their objections. "I spoke to the fucking Goatman, he's proud of you by the way Darby." She nodded in response from where she sat on the couch, absently lifting the book in her hands up and down. "Apparently they fucking went and left a 'possibility' in all of us 'cause they were dying so we could fucking take their place. I fucked that up by bringing Tanner back and releasing the fucking Soul Eater who wants to consume everything, including us." Kayden coughed out a laugh, it sounded as terrible as it felt, "Good news is, together we might be able to destroy it, bad news I have no fucking clue how to do that." He lamented, "How was your afternoon?" He asked into the ensuing awkward silence.

The gentle sound of Darby putting the book down and picking it back up again the only noise, before she cleared her throat, "I think I've figured out my ability, it's been happening every so often, I thought it was because I was tired." She stared at the book in her hands, "I can visualize the information around me and manipulate it, even referencing other texts I've read." 

"Huh, sounds fucking perfect for you." Kayden drawled. Groaning and holding onto the wall for support he pulled himself up, he then used it to push off and stumbled over to the couch; ignoring the other's hands reaching for him, and collapsed next to Darby, "You all need to decide if you want to fight or not. I won't fucking force you." He wiped his face with his hands, "The Goatman said it would change all of us forever if we did this and I really wouldn't bloody blame you if you left right now. Hell I want to." 

"I will fight." Darby announced her eyes locked with Raina's, "I have to, He gave this to me, to us, for a reason, I have to." Her voice was tinged with desperation.

"I'm not leaving you." Raina responded, moving over to hug and kiss her girlfriend.

"None of us are." Sat declared, "We all had a part in this and it sounds like fun, besides what else am I going to do?" The reckless determination rolling off of her stance, she turned towards Tanner.

Tanner took a step back looking as if he was about to turn and run, then his hand clenched tightly around a small draw string bag in his hand, "I'm in."

"That's great!" Kayden dragged out, "We still have no fucking clue how to defeat it."

"What else did He say, the Goatman." Darby turned to Kayden, demanding.

"Not much," He shook his head, trying to clear it, "It's ravenous, something about always having to go after food -," Kayden swallowed bile, "souls - even if it's hunting someone else."

"Okay, okay." Darby nodded, "That's something, anything else?"

"Yeah. We should probably fucking hurry."

"Make yourself fucking useful then." Darby retorted, she passed out her books to everyone, fresh pairs of eyes were helpful after all, and Kayden watched bemused as she started writing and pawing at the air around her.

"I'm going to make some coffee for everyone." Tanner muttered, walking into the kitchen area.

Kayden open the book in his hands and started reading, it was interesting, if a bit hippy for his tastes. Talking of energy and vibes, but some of it sounded useful and he soon became engrossed. Which is why he didn't notice the hairs on the back of his neck rising and feel the shifting of a presence until the coffee pot crashed to the ground. Kayden leapt to his feet, snapping the book shut. Tanner was suspended in the air, his hands scrabbling at emptiness around him.

Kayden focused and the Soul Eater shimmered into his view, "LET HIM GO!" He screamed.

The entity's massive maw grinned and bit down on Tanner who screamed worse than when he'd been eaten alive by the corpses. The gurgling crashing sound of laughter rang throughout Kayden's head as Tanner was pulled out of the room and away. 

"NO!" His voice breaking he moved forward, but Sat grabbed him. 

"You can't! You're no match for them alone!" She yelled in his face, "Don't leave us too!"

"I have to go after him! I can't abandon him again!"

"You won't, we won't!" Sat cried, "But charging in recklessly won't fucking help!" 

Kayden shoved her off of him and stared at the smashed coffee pot. "I failed him."

"Kayden snap the fuck out of it!" Raina yelled, "All of us were here and non of us could do a damn thing to stop it!" She marched up to him, "Stop being so selfish, you're not the only one to blame here!" She paused, "And this isn't helping Tanner!"

Kayden shifted backwards, his normally meeker and even tempered friend's words hitting deeper than if they'd come from Sat. He moved around her and picked up a shard of the broken pot, holding it between his fingers, there was something there, an idea that wasn't quite forming in his head.

"Do you think they took him to the mountains?" Darby asked.

"Where else?" Sat scoffed, "Everything seems to lead back there."

"They're probably waiting for us, wanting to pick us off one by one." 

"Do," Raina breathed, "Do you think they're keeping Tanner alive, or?"

"They'd better fucking be." Kayden growled. 

"Either way we need to go now." Darby said putting on shoes. "The sooner we reach him the better the odds."

Kayden heard the women moving around behind him, he tipped the broken glass, letting the cooling coffee spill to the ground. He frowned, fucking hell he was loosing it. Placing the glass down on the counter he moved over to the door, pulling on his boots and jacket. He grabbed his knuckles too, not that he thought they'd be of much help, but they comforted him. He grabbed a backpack and threw in water, food bars and his flashlights. He looked around at the women and they nodded. Kayden flipped off the lights and followed his friends out the door, letting it close and lock behind him. The four of them made their way downstairs and outside. Solemnly they started walking, Sat leading the way, Kayden bringing up the back. Raina was walking next to Darby, moving her out around obstacles as she was still muttering to herself. 

It took a good couple hours to hike up to the chain-link fence, both he and Sat had to keep an eye of Darby and Raina who'd decided to finish off some drawings, not that Kayden could begrudge her that with what her powers were. It was dark by the time they reached the same chain link fenced they'd passed through the last times. They all drew to a stop, each of them alone in their own thoughts. Kayden just wondered how different his life would be without any of this happening, would he have been happier? Fuck that. He moved forward and pushed through the gap, holding it up for the women to follow behind him. They spread out on the other side and Kayden started in the direction that led towards the mountain top. Would this be the last time any of them did this?


	14. There's Been A Darkness There A While.

The journey to the top of the mountain was different this time, not the mad dash with something chasing them, or the backbreaking stumbling climb he'd taken alone, but the determined movements of friends who knew that they were walking into a trap but had no other choice they could reasonably make. The rocky hike took a while, all of them were panting slightly at the forced march they'd pushed. They broke through the sparse trees that littered the steep mountainside onto the top of the platform as a group, they stayed close together, and Kayden took in his surroundings. 

At first glance it seemed empty, but he could make out something in the distance, a slumped form in front of the medicine wheel, as they edged closer he could see the figure was Tanner's prone body. Kayden looked around, he concentrated his vision blurring as it bled into the astral plane, but there was nothing around. He couldn't sense anything. Kayden nodded to the others and they slowly moved over to Tanner; he was still breathing but his breath was shallow and his normally pale skin was sallow. Kayden reached out a shaking hand to touch him. He flinched, grabbing Sat and Darby who were closest to him, he pulled them backwards, that was not Tanner. Raina still stood slightly in front of them as the body shifted and coalesced into the amorphous form Kayden had first seen. Her eyes were wide and mouth open, Kayden felt the other still next to him. They could see the Soul Eater. Fuck, were they already this powerful?! 

The crashing laughter rolled over them, Kayden raised his hands to his ears, his eyes squinting in pain, and he could just make out the other's bending over and clutching their own heads. The Soul Eater reared forward and Darby screamed impotently as the entity reached for Raina. Kayden watched as a shaking Raina flipped her sketchbook open and reached into it, pulling something small out of it, she flicked something and threw it, running and skidding into Kayden’s knees, bowling him over, he pulled the others down with him.

"Get down!" She yelled as they pressed themselves into the ground, the fiery explosion searing the air above them. The soul eater reared upwards, parts of their body trailing away. They hovered over, seemingly warier than before.

"Damn girl, grenades?" Kayden praised.

"What?! I don't know how to use a gun!" Raina defended. 

Gingerly they got to their feet, helping each other up. The Soul Eater was still above them, the being seemed to find something amusing, and the flickering excess that had been blown away by the explosion gradually reformed.

"That's not good." Sat exclaimed.

"Find Tanner," Kayden responded, "Raina and I will keep it busy!" He heard the other two move off to scour the other side of the mountain top.

"And uh, how are we going to do that?" Raina asked.

"Simple, I'm going to fucking piss them off and you're going to keep lobbing grenades at them."

"Well okay then." She reached in and pulled another out, "I only have so many though."

Kayden absently nodded and moved diagonally away from her, yelling up at the Soul Eater, "Well you got us here, is this the best you can fucking do?!"

The entity swooped down in front of Kayden their maw of a head shifting, a tendril almost caressing his face before they vanished. Damn it! Kayden whirled around, he could still feel them. He pushed his power, trying to see the creature. His eyes searched the night sky to no avail. 

Sat screamed in the distance. Kayden and Darby took off towards the sound, they climbed the rubble of rocks that separated different parts of the mountain top, cutting their hands and Raina stumbled in her rush, but passed him. His side and injuries felt heavy and a burning sensation pulled at his wounds. He pressed a hand to his flank; he could feel the sticky blood from the wound reopening.

Breathing raggedly he crested the hill and found Sat standing over Tanner's prone body, shouting at the entity as they had held Darby in their embrace of tendrils. Sat held out her arms, gritting her teeth, "You deserve a heck of a lot more bad luck than you fucking have!" and she twisted her arms as if yanking the oceans tide in a different direction.

Kayden watched as Raina threw another grenade, it exploded right above the maw, the Soul Eater screeched, reflexively releasing Darby who dropped down onto the rocky ground with an audible snapping thump, Kayden could see the bubbling gurgle of blood in her mouth that she had to breathe through, a trickle ran from the corner of her mouth and down the side of her face. Any sounds she made were drowned out by the roaring angry screeches of the monster they were facing.

Raina was already rushing forward; she slid down the incline and stumbled over to her girlfriend. Raina leant over her and started to help her sit up. Darby could move at least. He needed to buy them time! He looked around frantically; Sat was still stood protectively over Tanner. This was not going well. Unbidden the words of the Goatman echoed in his mind and Kayden’s body dropped, rolling down the incline after Raina as he moved into the astral plane.

The soul eater’s attention shifted to him, unable to resist the temptation of a soul away from the meagre protection of their body. Kayden shivered as the memory of the pain that maw inflicted ran through him. “Come and get me!” He jeered. 

He floated up flying away and the soul eater followed, unable to do anything but, the guttural inhuman growling echoed around Kayden. He darted through the night sky, twisting and turning unpredictably trying to lead the Soul Eater on a merry chase. He could hear their cackling glee as they followed.

Kayden turned left and banked upwards and they turned after him, fuck they were fast. He stopped and dropped, rolling away. Crying out he flinched as a tendril cut part of him away. Kayden swerved again gaining some distance. They moved suspended in the air above the mountain, the lights of civilisation twinkling in the distance, unaware and uncaring. Below he could see Raina and Sat leaning over Darby and Tanner, transferring them some of their energy.

It was like some sick fucking dance as Kayden pushed further upwards the Soul Eater gaining on him, he moved left and they followed, he tried to faint but they spread out under him. He yelled as they grabbed onto him, his soul burning; the pain of their needles shuddering through him.

Grabbing the elusive energy around him he yanked and broke away. Kayden’s form flickered around him as they both hung in the air, his strength was failing him, there were only so many places he could move and run. He currently had no way of attacking in this form. He growled in anger, his tone unfortunately echoing the rumbling sounds the Soul Eater had made. Kayden felt more than saw the giant maw grinning, knowing that they had won.  

Kayden dropped back into his body, unable to sustain his projection further, praying the others had come up with something. His eyes opened to see the other situated around him; his body was even sorer from rolling down into the bottom of naturally carved swath that was part of the mountain top. “Did I... buy enough time?”

“Enough for Sat and Raina to bring us back,” Tanner breathed, “We have an idea, but I’m not sure how it will help us with that though.” He nodded over towards the creature.

Kayden levered himself upright, his shaking limbs he had to use the others to stand, as the Soul Eater moved closer to them, like a cat playing with their food they rested on top of a boulder, their tendrils swishing like a tail.

“Tanner, can you do it?” Darby demanded moving herself back towards a cave entrance.

“I think so; I don’t see how we have a choice.” His determined but shaking voice responded.

Kayden stumbled after his friends, he saw as the Soul Eater twitched and swirled following them. They reached then entrance of the caves when the entity flew past them, ripping through Sat and Raina, eliciting screams of pain from them, and the Soul Eater was now hovering in front of all of them.

“Trying to run away?” Their voice sliced through Kayden’s skull, his vision doubled and for a moment, he saw nothing around him.

Someone grabbed his left hand, squeezing it, his vision came back to him and he saw Sat and Tanner holding hands, he glanced to the right as Raina grasped his hand, her other holding onto Darby. He barely had a moment to breathe before Darby started chanting in a different language; Tanner held up his free hand and spread his fingers like he was pushing against something.

The drain was immediate and intense, his vision started to grey around the edges. He could feel the others buckling next to him, Sat and Raina screaming wordlessly, or was that him? He felt the hard rocks against his knees, the heavy weight of one of the girls leaning into him. He was so tired.

“I don’t know how long I can hold their aura, have you set the binding yet Darby?” Tanner grunted, Kayden could barely make out the words.

With a gasping heave Darby finished what she was chanting and Kayden shuddered as he felt the draining energy slow into a crawl before finally stopping. All of them were on their knees in front of the cave; Kayden would have passed out if not for Sat supporting him. He blinked as the Soul Eater’s tendrils pounded against an invisible barrier, the shield vibrated and the creature shrieked but the terrifying sound was dulled.

“How long will that hold?” Raina asked shakily.

“Not very…” Darby answered her voice breathless.

“What… do we do?” Kayden moaned, “None of us… have the fucking… energy to keep… doing this.”

Tanner cocked his head to the side, “I think I’ve figured out… a weakness?” He whispered, “They have no defences… when they’re feeding.”

“That’s... Brilliant to... Know.” Kayden replied catching his breath, “Not sure... how it helps... right now.”

“What if?” Sat paused and looked over at Raina, “What if we did what we did earlier to help the Tanner and Darby, but in reverse?”

“You mean…?” Raina trailed off and gulped, “You mean absorbing the creature’s energy?”

A charged pause settled over all of them, “Would it work?” Darby wondered.

“There’s only one way to fucking know.” Kayden grit his teeth and pushed to his feet; leaning into Tanner’s steading arms. Darby and Raina wrapped their arms around one another. Kayden held out a hand to Sat as she stood staring at everyone with a convoluted expression on her face, before allowing him to pull her close. They reached their hands out as the barrier disappeared with an all shattering shriek, and pulled.

Kayden was being burned alive again. His nerve endings felt as if they were attempting to consume a black hole, numbness crept up his body. In the distance he could hear the sounds of someone screaming in agony. He could practically taste the Soul Eater’s essence; foul and all consuming, a terrifying hunger that would now be part of all of them. The immensity of the creature nearly overwhelmed him, and somehow Kayden knew that if they had been any fewer they would have failed and been consumed. 

A whispering voice caressed his mind as they devoured the last of the creature. “Thank you Kayden…” He felt nauseous sickness rise up, the acidic bile catching the back of his throat, the greedy gleeful voice of the Soul Eater, destroyed but forever living inside of him and his friends. He’d done this to them.

Kayden could feel his body again, he was lying on the uneven rocky ground, the cooling wisps of air as the slight breeze swirled above him. He pried his aching eyes open. They were all outside the cave entrance, the night still dominant in the sky. Kayden sat up from where he’d fallen; none of the others were awake yet. He stilled, please, fucking please. He leaned over a shaky hand and felt Tanner’s neck, he was warm and there was a pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief before checking the others; they were all alive but unconscious.

He hissed in pain at the cuts and abrasions littering his arms, an entire side of his body ached. He carefully lifted his shirt and checked his side, he was no longer bleeding, but he definitely needed to change the bandages, and possibly needed to re-stitch the stab wound. But for now, he contentedly settled down against a rock and watched them as the skies around the mountain changed, waiting, hoping.

Darby was the first to stir, groaning as she pushed herself onto her elbows, “Did it work?”

Kayden tried to not let the relief show on his face, “I think so.” He glanced around and saw the rest of his friend gradually waking up.

“What does that mean for us?” Sat’s whispered the same expression on her face as she stared at her hands.

“I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out together Sat.” Tanner reassured, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing lightly.

“Are we still…” Raina trailed off and looked around, “Is anyone else seeing that?”

Kayden followed her gaze, whereas before the shimmering energy seemed disconnected from him, unnatural it now made more sense, as if he was seeing clearly for the first time. “Fuck...” He breathed.

“I’ll take that as a yes then.” Raina quipped, leaning back into Darby, the two of them having shuffled closer together.

“We should probably head back.” Tanner stated and they all groaned in response. They took their time climbing down the mountain and walking back to town, Kayden being supported on either side by Tanner and Sat. The walk was mostly silent, the thoughts of what they’d done haunted their minds as they made their way back to Kayden’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that's the 'end'. I've just got the epilogue, where I'm debating whether to give guys a glimpse of the far off future or whether to do montage/vignette style snippets of things that happen after... Or to do the former as an epilogue and to do the latter as short stories in another fic.


	15. The Pulse Of An Irregular Life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, the characters decided more things had to happen. So there will be some more chapters. 
> 
> There is a fight scene in this.

They were all positively exhausted as they stumbled into Kayden's run-down apartment. All of them cleaning themselves up and tending to any wounds, pushing through their exhaustion. Raina and Darby eventually curled up on his sagging couch, he winced at the thought, but was too bone dead tired to say anything. He shuffled into his bedroom, planting face first into his mattress resting on the floor, Tanner and Sat curled up around him. Kayden drifted off unaware of the small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

He woke up feeling too warm, blearily he blinked his eyes open, he was lying in the centre of the mattress, Sat was curled up on one side and Tanner on the other. He breathed in sharply and froze, he didn't want to wake them up, Kayden allowed himself to relax incrementally, as he watched them both sleeping. They looked so peaceful. Absently he brushed a strand of Tanner's long brown hair out of his face, hesitating as the other man twitched, murmuring something unintelligible before sighing. Kayden pulled his hand back and glanced over at Sat, she was lying slightly away from him, her long legs tucked towards her chest. Moving carefully he edged his way out of the bed, climbing off the bottom of the mattress, he breathed a slight sigh of relief that he hadn't woken them before padding out of the room into the open living area.

Darby was still asleep on the couch, blankets strewn haphazardly around her, her legs twisted around one. Raina was stood over by one of his walls, an inside one that had a layer slightly crumbling in places plaster coating the rough brickwork, she had her art supplies on the floor in front of her, more than he thought she'd brought with her and was staring at the wall, tapping her chin in consternation. He rubbed the back of his neck and quickly went to the bathroom to sort himself out, his mouth felt like something had died inside of it. When he came back out she was still staring absently at the wall. 

Quietly he made his way over to her, her eyes flickered to him as he stood next to her before her attention was drawn back to the wall. "What are you thinking?" He inquired, his voice dryer than he thought, but thankfully quiet.

"I'm wondering how much we can use the things we do."

"Use them?" Kayden paused, he'd not given much thought as to what would happen next. But they still had these powers, "I don't know, I have a feeling we're going to have to protect some things though." He sighed and ran a hand through his un-styled hair, pushing it flat and back.

"I figured. But they're our powers, we can do what we want with them right?" She whispered, "We need to know how to use them anyways."

Kayden's eyes flickered from her frowning face to the wall, "What were you thinking of making?" 

"Um," He glanced back over to see her blushing slightly, "I was going to make you a better bed, or two, and maybe some furniture."

Kayden couldn't help but chuckle, remembering at the last moment to keep quiet, "I'm certainly not going to fucking stop you."

"Is it bad to use these things for personal gain though?" She asked, chewing her bottom lip.

"I'm the wrong fucking person to ask that to," He wiped his hand over his face and breathed out harshly, "The way I see it, we need to understand these powers, if we get things out of that so fucking be it." He shrugged and met Raina's gaze, Kayden didn't know what she saw, but her face shifted to an expression of determination and she pulled out her pencils.

Kayden was about to moved away when she held one out to him, they started the stencil-work of some smaller furniture, before painting in details and after she prompted him, he focused on images of comfort as they drew in silence. They already knew that once she pulled the item out of the drawing that it disappeared from the pages, and that there was a corelation with size, but they learned that as long as she had drawn some part of it then she could withdraw the item depicted. Kayden lost track of time, it must have been hours, the others woke up during it, Sat coming over and joining them later on. Darby and Tanner were curled up on the sagging couch discussing things too quietly for the others to hear. 

They stopped for lunch-time making sandwiches and sitting around a new circular dining table set, it was a dark wood with six chairs, which were the comfier than seemed possible. There was a new matching coffee table in the living area and a partially finished lounge set on the wall, mostly ready to be pulled out. Raina wanted to do the less complicated things first, making sure these would last and that they were comfortable. There were a number of broken or uncomfortable items littering the floor. They ate in silence, their minds still processing what had happened, no one seemed much inclined to be the first one to raise the topic, Kayden least of fucking all. Inwardly he stewed, anxiety clawing at his gut, but he forced it down and ate his sandwich with his friends. 

After lunch they took the useless items down to the large apartment bins situated to the side of the building. Kayden was finishing up, Sat having just gone back into the building, when something shoved into him. He stumbled forward, crashing into the side of one of the bins. He turned around furious to find the three stoodges from the other night. They were stood in a semi-circle, spread out just enough that they were blocking his only route of escape, the two brick walls of the building lined with bins were to his back and the tall wooden walls of the enclosure in front of him, the gate pulled shut. 

On instinct he lowered his stance and spread his legs, gearing up to fight or run. “What the fuck do you want?” Kayden hissed, forcing bravado into his voice.

”Why, we never finished what we started the other night,” Sammy responded and ugly smile on his face, “We wouldn’t want you to feel forgotten.”

 “I think I have enough momentos, thanks for fucking caring.” Kayden snarked back, taking the other injuries; both Sammy and Mike had black eyes and broken noses, Jeff’s neck was a large dark purpling bruise and both he and Mike held themselves stiffly, “Looks like you guys do too.”

Sammy spat at Kayden and stepped forward when Jeff grabbed his arm, “You sure you want to do this now, it’s the middle of the fucking day?”

Sammy shrugged out of the grip, “Yeah, we’re in a back alley in the bad part of town. We’re fine.” He gestured to Mike who pulled out a bike chain and locked the gate from the inside.

Fuck, this wasn’t good. He was unarmed and outnumbered. Thinking quickly, Kayden laughed, this was going to be fucking fun, trying to distract the ringleader he taunted him, “Too scared to face me alone then Sammy?”

Sammy sneered, “You’re not worth it, besides this way we all get a bit of fun.”

”What you all going head back and fuck each other over this? I’m fucking flattere-.” He broke off as the punch hit his jaw, Kayden rolled with it, he spat out a glob of blood and looked up at Sammy, “I got under your skin I see.” He grinned and grabbed the man swiping his feet out from under him he threw Sammy over his shoulder, he slammed into the ground a painful groan whimpering out of his mouth as his shoulder broke. 

Kayden backed away from them, his side burning, he winced, that had torn his stitches. Jeff stared wide eyed, he took a step backwards. Mike howled in anger and surged forward, Kayden ducked under the swing and blocked the next, hissing in pain as a knife flicked out from what Kayden had though were brass knuckles, not knuckle knives, and sliced his bare arm. 

He moved away, darting back as Mike swiped at his stomach, he crashed into the wall behind him, running out of places to move. He rolled along the wall as the knife hit the brickwork next to him. Kayden blocked Mike’s next jab, crossing his arms as the other man pushed the knife towards his throat. 

Something slammed against the wooden gate, rattling it and giving Kayden the chance to break away. He quickly took in Jeff helping Sammy sit up and propping him against the wall before he turn to face Kayden a haunted expression on his face, he pulled out a retractable baton. 

The moment of distraction cost Kayden as he ducked away from Mike’s swing, his knife cut across his chest, a sliver of burning pain where he’d been to slow. Kayden grit his teeth waiting for Mike to strike again, Kayden ducked under the blow he moved forward this time and in a move similar to the one he used on Sammy he threw Mike into the side of the bins. 

Kayden stumbled as he let go of the other man, unable to control the throw like he had earlier, the old injuries in his side and head protesting. Mike crumpled into a heap next to Sammy, breathing heavily before slowly limping to his feet. Fuck.

Kayden grabbed a chair leg from the ground and blocked Jeffs blow, he ground his teeth, it was harder than it should be. Shoving upward he rolled out of the way of the next blow and came to his feet as the gate sprang open. A momentary surge of relief flew through him, Sat was stood in the entry way, the others behind her. 

“What the hell are you fuckers doing?” She demanded. 

Something cold pressed against Kayden’s neck, he flinched, Sammy was holding the same knife he’d used the other night to Kayden’s throat. “Why we were just taking out the trash.” The man drawled, acting like he didn’t have a car in the world.

“Sat, fucking take the others and go.”

She ignored him and pushed forward reaching out her hand, Darby grabbed her arm. “Don’t!”

Sat glanced back at their friends visibly deflating, before stiffening her spine and turning her anger back on the trio of bastards, “Get out of here now and we won’t press charges.”

Sammy and Mike started laughing, “Oh please, who is going to believe your story over ours.”

”It wouldn’t be the first fucking time the freak here picked a fight with others.”

”It might be nothing, but I’ve got a feeling the security camera might help.” Tanner responded dryly, pointing to one of the two cameras the landlord had put up to stop drug deals from happening on his property; Kayden has forgotten about it.

He grinned as the three stoodges turned pale looking up at the the camera that had a perfect view of what they’d done. Jeff dropped his baton like it had shocked him and bolted pushing past the others, he knocked against Sat as he did and tripped over, before scrambling back to his feet and running away.

“Fucking coward!” Mike shouted at his retreating back. But he flexed the hand with the knuckle knife on and glanced at Sammy. 

The knife held to Kayden’s throat was shaking, Kayden could see the beading sweat forming at his temples as he awkwardly held one of his arms to his chest. Kayden could take him and they both knew it. “What’s it gonna be Sammy?” Kayden whispered, his voice dripping with condescension.

Sammy pushed closer, the knife digging into his neck for the second time, the other man hissed into his ear, too low for any of the others to hear, “Someday soon, you are going to be alone and vulnerable again and you can be sure I’ll be there.” He paused, “I’d keep an eye on those friends if I were you Kayden.” He moved away, his voice a more normal volume, “We have unfinished business after all.”

Sammy put his knife away and walked past the others, keeping his distance, he motioned for Mike to join, and Kayden watched as he put the knuckle knife into his pocket and made his way over to Sammy, he bumped into Tanner shoving him a couple steps backwards, and Sat shoved him away in retaliation, her other hand pocketing something.

The five of them watched until the duo were out of sight, Kayden reached down wincing as he picked up the baton, “Let’s to back.” Tanner and Raina moved forward and helped him back to his apartment, regardless of his protests. They sat him in one of the chairs whilst Darby grabbed the med kit. 

Sat dropped into a chair in front of him, she dropped the knuckle knife onto the table, “Present for you.”

”You shouldn’t have done that to them.” Darby armonshied.

Sat laughed, “If I cant use my powers to help my friends then what’s the fucking point?”

”And what if doing so does something bad?” She demanded as she cleaned Kayden’s wounds, he grunted as she pressed down too hard.

”You mean worse than Kayden being jumped again or what the fuck just happened last night?” She slammed her hand down, “News-fucking-flash, those things happened and it’s fucking possible they will keep happening!”

”I fucking know that! I’m the one who knew before all of you!” Darby shouted back at her.

”Guys, is this really the time?” Raina interrupted. 

Sat scoffed, “As good as any.”

”Stop it!” She admonshied, “We shouldn’t fight, we need to talk about all of this.”

”Kayden,” He looked over at Tanner where he leant against the kitchen counter, “Why were those guys after you, the real reason.” Kayden shifted under the knowing gaze.

He exhaled harshly as Darby finished patching him up, “The real reason huh.” He laughed, the sound catching in his throat, “They’re fucking assholes who don’t like the fact that I’m not straight. That’s all there is to it.”

”Don’t fucking lie to us.” Tanner almost growled. 

 Kayden winced as Darby tugged with a stitch, “It’s complicated,” he ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it down, “Let’s just say I got mixed up in some bad shit with Sammy once. It was dealt with!”

Sat snorted, “Yeah, seems to be!” 

“What kind of shit?” Raina’s voice cut off an argument before it could start.

”Drugs, the usual stuff.” Kayden tensed in pain as Darby finished up, relaxing as she dressed his injuries, he was gonna need to restock soon. He stared absently at the med kit.

”What’re we going to do then?” Sat practically demanded.

”You guys are going to do nothing, this is my problem.”

Tanner snorted, “Yeah ‘cause you’re good at doing that.” He shrugged, “If its your problem it’s ours.”

Kayden frowned, “I seemed to manage saving your ass pretty well!”

“Guys stop!” Raina admonished stepping between them, “This isn’t the time to do this, let’s just finish up with the furniture and we can talk about things tomorrow.”

Kayden frowned and looked away from her tired face, her previously naively happy face marred by their experience. He grunted, “She’s right.” And moves over to help her with the wall.

The rest of the afternoon passed by similarly to the morning, they finished off the lounge set before creating two beds. Raina had wanted to make some bookshelves and storage units but they all forced her to rest. They wouldn’t have let her make the beds if not for her insisting and how they all wanted a goodnights sleep. One was a king sized bed that was placed in Kayden’s room. The other was a fold out double that they left in the lounge.

Tired and not well enough to cook they ordered take out, and curled up on the couches and on one of the beds watching crappy tv and having calmed down from what happened earlier enjoying the sensation being friends for the first time in years.


	16. Imagine If There’s No Heaven, It’s Easy If You Try.

Kayden felt much better the next day, he’d slept through the night again and he couldn’t remember any of his dreams. He’d had a shower and made breakfast for everyone as they all got up. They congregated around the dining table, enjoying their meal.

Which is probably why he opened his stupid mouth, “What happens now then?”

“We need to figure out what all of this means. Raina and I are going to hit the library and see if we find anything.”

“We can come with?” Tanner offered.

Their two friends shared a look and before they could say anything Sat piped up, “We’ll all stay here, give you guys some time together.” She shrugged.

Kayden swallowed, that’s it then, they were talking about it today. He knew Sat well enough to tell. They finished eating with subdued chatter between them. He fidgeted as the couple gathered their things and left.

“So... I’ll just fucking go-.” He rambled edging towards his bedroom.

Sat stopped him in his tracks with a look, “We’re sorting all of this out Kayden, whether you want to or not.”

He sighed and followed her over to the couches, each of them sat down on their own chair; Tanner sitting properly in the armchair, Sat perched in the middle of the couch and Kayden sprawled on the two seater.

They all sat in silence.

Sat cleared her throat awkwardly and stared him. He rolled his eyes, “What? You’re the one who wanted this, you go first.”

She snorted, her face then falling into a slight smile before she started speaking, “I know this is difficult for all of us but it needs to be done.” She sighed, turning to look at Tanner, “You’re in love with Kayden.” He froze and started to stammer a response but she kept talking, “And he’s in love with you. The problem is neither of you know how to admit your feelings. Or admit the fact that both of you also are in love with me.” She broke eye contact and started resolutely ahead, “I love both of you too.”

Kayden stilled, hesitating he licked his dry lips, the cut flaring with pain.

“What are you saying then?” Tanner’s quiet voice asked.

“I’m saying,” Her voice growing stronger, “Why can’t all of us be together?”

“What? As in romantically?” Tanner practically yelped.

“Why not?” Sat asked almost furiously, “We love each other, we work well together, we know we can balance each other out. Why can’t a relationship have three people?”

“It’s, it’s not-.” He broke off.

“Normal, right?” Kayden drawled, “That’s What you were gonna say, isn’t it?” Tanner looked away from him, his face contorted into a confused frown. “News-fucking-flash Tanner, we’re not normal!” Kayden laughed ruefully, “Even before the magic powers and shit with the mountain. None of us were straight, even if some of us were closeted, and all of us had problems. Why the fuck should we follow societies arbitrary rules? What have they ever done for us?”

“Shut up!” Tanner yelled, “You Don’t have a family, you don’t know how it feels.”

Sat gasped and yelled, “Tanner!”

“No, you wanna fucking do this?” Kayden demanded, calm fury cracking his voice.

”Kayden, don’t!” Sat yelled echoing when he’d defended Tanner from her on the mountain last time. 

Unlike her Kayden didn’t listen, “Yeah, I’ve got no blood family. My dads been dead for fucking years and my mum was a manic piece of shit who fucked me up. Your dad was the asshole who did nothing to stop any of the things that happened even when I fucking begged him to.”

”I don’t-.” Tanner stuttered.

”Kayden.” Sat pleaded.

”Your dad is the one who hit you!” Kayden broke, “I-...” Feeling lost he put his hands in his face. 

“Like father like son, huh?” Tanner monotonous tone making Kauden lift his head, “Is that how you see me?”

The sound of skin hitting skin, the echoing memory, ‘Do it again. Harder.’

Kayden looked away, “I see someone broken, just like all of us.” He groaned, “I see someone I love.” 

The kiss took him by surprise as Tanner’s lips met his with more force than was necessary, his lip flared in pain and he tasted copper, but he kissed back, reaching up to run his hands through Tanner’s hair. They broke apart gasping and Kayden turned to Sat an almost hungry expression filled her eyes before she quickly looked away. 

Barely even thinking what he was doing he moved over to her, holding onto Tanner’s hand and his kissed Sat. She was shocked at first before sinking into the kiss, it was familiar and full of tricks and teasing. They pulled away from each other to look at Tanner, his eyes were blown wide and focused on their lips, his mouth partially opened.

Kayden nudged him towards Sat and watched as they kissed, they tested the waters, getting used to each other, it was beautiful. He could feel his trousers tightening. When they broke apart he pulled them into his bedroom. Fervently glad Raina and Darby has gone out and praying they’d stay gone for a while yet. He closed the door behind him.

 ~*~

Kayden woke to someone stroking his hair, grumbling he opened his eyes. Tanner was watching him, Sat seemed to still be asleep. The sheets covering them haphazardly. “What time is it?”

”Around 2.”

Kayden blinked, “That was fucking brilliant.”

Tanner chuckled quietly, “Yeah, it was.” He continued playing with Kayden’s hair, “I’m sorry about earlier. I was out of line and well...” He seemed slightly lost for words.

”It’s fine.” Kayden reassures, “I know how hard breaking a habit can be.”

A pause in the rhythmic caress of his fingers through Kayden’s hair before he continued, “My dad beat me. Never often or where it would show. I always wondered if you knew. Would you tell me how?”

Kayden sighed, this was a whole can of worms that couldn’t be shut if he did, but... He looked over at Sat, she’d woken up at some point and was staring at him. He desperately needing a cigarette or something. “Years ago, mom had been in one of her manic states, and she was too out of it to notice that her partner at the time was too interested in her son.” He felt the finger tense and Sat stiffen next to him but neither of them said anything. Kayden shrugged, “I ran away, but the only place I could go to was yours Tanner. Sat and I were in a fight and the others were either away or... I saw what he did.” He clenched his fist.”I wanted to go in and stop it, but I wasn’t in any state to do so.” He closed his eyes, he’d ended up somewhere he’d rather have never remembered. “I confronted your dad after church one day, we got into a massive argument. Somehow he knew about what had happened. He called me a sinner and defiled.” Kayden flinched under their touch, the words echoing. “I said he was destined for hell and the devil must be proud of his work, and some other things. I don’t really remember much of it, I was so angry.” He shrugged, forcing his hand to uncurl.

”I always wondered why he had stopped.”

”He stopped?”

”Yeah, around the time you must of spoken to him.” Kayden looked up to see Tanner’s eyes were closed a painful expression on his face, “I was so scared he’d moved onto my sister. But he never laid a hand on her.” Sat shifted and climbed over to hold him, “Thank you. Both of you.”

”I’m so sorry.” Sat whispered.

”Hey, it’s not your fault.”

”I should have done something.”

”You did though, you were with me through it all.”

Kayden moved over and gently pulled them both into his arms, careful not to jar his injuries. He was healing better than normal, but he kept getting into fights.

”Can I - Can I move in here Kayden?” Tanner asked.

”Of course. Both of you can.”

There was a knocking on the front door followed by the faint sound of someone unlocking it and coming inside. The three of them groaned and slowly got dressed, eventually opening the door to find Raina and Darby in the living area, a couple books around them as they sat at the table. 

“I see something went well.” Darby commented dryly.

”Does that mean the research didn’t?” Kayden quipped back.

She laughed, “It’s a bit hard to search for something not one knows about, but we’ve found some things.”

They moved over and collapsed onto the three seater leaving Darby and Raina to the loveseat. “Well then?” Tanner asked.

”From what I can gather, we’re like guardians. We need to protect the mountain when it’s threatened. But aside from that we are free to live our lives.”

”Why the mountain, what’s so special about it?” Sat wondered.

”I think it’s a nexus for a magical layline, so something like that.”

“It explains a lot.” Raina added, “If that’s the case.”

”So we’re free then?” Kayden asked, “Until it calls on us.”

”Pretty much.” 

Kayden started laughing, “Fucking superheros.” 

They grabbed a late lunch before taking Darbys car and bringing most of Tanner’s things over. Sat and Raina stayed behind to make more furniture. They were lucky as Tanner’s family were all out as they had an event happening, that Tanner was meant to be going to. Instead they packed everything into boxes and carted it back to their apartment. It took a couple trips but eventually everything was stacked in the living area. Feeling jittery and full of energy they unpacked most of it into the newly made furniture. 

“You should totally make things and sell them.” Sat commented, Her long fingers stroking the wardrobe. 

“I guess.” Raina agreed, tucking her hair back.

They all made dinner together, laughing and joking as they ate. Aware that Darby and Raina would have to leave soon and happily enjoying the time they had together. They chatted like old friends and moved over to the couches after clearing up. 

An hour into the film the front door buzzer rang out. Kayden muted the tv and looked around confused, everyone else’s expression matched his. He grabbed his shoes and keys, the others putting their shoes on too, before they headed to the entrance. He left them on the stairs as he continued forward. He hesitated when he saw the pastor standing at the door.

Kayden frowned but slowly opened the door. “Can I help you?” The sarcasm painfully I obvious in his dry tone.

”I’m looking for Tanner.”

”Sorry, can’t help you there.” Kayden smiled, “My kinda are to stay away from him.”

”Listen here you little punk, you will tell me where my son is.”

”Or what?” Kayden genuinely asked, curious as to what the man would threaten.

“Or I go to the police.”

Kayden’s eye narrowed, “About what?”

”Your devilsh practices, your side business.” He gestured Kayden’s injuries, “The fights you get into.”

”Wow. That’s a lot of things.” He smirked, “You know what fucking happens if you try any of those things.”

”You listen here you god damned f-.”

”Father.” Tanner interrupted coming round the stairs, leaving the girls on them. He stopped at the bottom, not moving any closer.

”Ah son, good. I’ve come to take you home, it’s time to leave.”

”I’m not going.”

”What are you talking about? Of course you are, your mother and sister have been worried sick, and then we get home to find your room practically empty.”

”I’ve moved out.”

”Come now, this is not the time or place to talk about it. Your mothers upset, we can talk about another time when you’re feeling calmer.”

”I’m not going with you father, and you don’t want me to.”

”I do my son, you know how much we love you.”

Tanner took a deep breath staring at his father, “I’m not straight.”

His father laughed, “Of course you are, you’ve been in love with Satine for years. Now come along.”

”No.”

”No?!” The pastors gaze grew darker, “Tanner listen to me, they are fooling you, trying to tempt you into devilishness and their wicked ways. You need to come home to the people that care for you.”

”I think you need to leave.” Kayden spoke up.

”This does not concern you.” He paused, “Or are you using my son as you do everyone else?”

”Enough.” Tanner’s voice called out, “I am not straight father, I am not the son you wanted. I have moved out and I’m not coming back until you accept me as I am.”

An ugly sneer slashes the pastor’s face in half, “You are no son of mine if you behave this way. I should have quashed it out of you sooner.”

Kayden saw a brief flare of worry on Tanner’s face and he was talking before he could think, ”You do anything to his sister I will use what I have.”

“As you reminded me that is a two way street.” The pastor hissed before his gaze focused back on Tanner, “You are a disgrace to all that is holy and good. Both of you-.” Kayden slammed the door shut, not caring that he nearly smashed it into the pastor. He might have actually preferred it if the door had. 

He walked back to Tanner and helped him moved back upstairs the other man shaking in his hold. They passed the worried girls and made their way upstairs, Sat joining them. They curled up on the new bed and held each other. Knowing that sometimes words meant very little. 

**Author's Note:**

> The story and chapter titles were taken from song lyrics that I was listening to whilst writing:
> 
> 1\. Drugs - EDEN.  
> 2\. The Driver - Bastille.  
> 3\. Silhouette - Aquilo.  
> 4\. Blood On My Name - The Brothers Bright.  
> 5\. The One Who Laughs Last - Downplay.  
> 6\. The Crooked Kind - Radical Face.  
> 7\. Youth - Daughter.  
> 8\. Everything Goes Dark - The Hoosiers.  
> 9\. How'm I Supposed to Die - Civil Twilight.  
> 10\. War - Former Vandal.  
> 11\. Après Moi - Peter Gabriel.  
> 12\. O' Death - Jen Titus.  
> 13\. I Want Nothing - Kerli.  
> 14\. The Hunger In Your Haunt - Crywolf.  
> 15\. Open Your Houses - Shearwater.  
>   
> Bonus (title inspiration): Capricious - Crooked Colours.  
> 


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